Wednesday, 31 December 2008

enjoying retirement

as you know I have worked very hard looking after two well-meaning, but often useless, members of STAFF. And, frankly, I had enough! All the hard work, the stress of looking after them, making sure they were safe. Checking on all visitors. A never-ending list of tasks and duties. When was a guy ever given the chance to relax?
So, I said to myself: enough is enough. But how could I communicate this idea to the STAFF? (It's not easy getting stuff through to them...). Well, I lucked out when I saw that this nice chap,  who has his own tv show about rehabilitating useless dog staff 'the Dog Whisperer", has also written a book. Quick as a flash I was on and ordered the STAFF a copy for xmas. They took it very well, and read it aloud to one another. I was nodding along in the background. The man, Cesar Milan, makes so much sense. He knows all about how to turn useless STAFF into good STAFF. 
And now the STAFF have finally taken on board that they are meant to look after me and not the other way around! Now, I have retired from pack leadership and STAFF management. My BP has dropped, my stress levels are sinking. I am relaxed. I am happy. I am carefree. I am having the time of my life! 

We are all one big, happy, calm family now. Having lots of fun!

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

the game of kings

I am contemplating my next move. The STAFFs' puny intellects are no match for me. But even if THEY should stumble on a good move and my brains won't win it on this one occasion, well, guess who's top in the brawns department? (Hint: starts with o, ends in o, has two ts in the middle).

Everything is a game of chess. Getting the best sofa. The warmest bed. The best food. The most attention. The STAFF try all sorts of strategies, but in the end, it is always check mate.

Now, back to my game of chess. I like the new chess figures. The wood smells very yummy, and could do with some 'personalizing'. You cannot beat that sort of thoughtful gift for Christmas, can you now.

Monday, 8 December 2008

Weimaraner 0 : Nasty Shrub 1

ouchy ouchy ouchy... This morning the STAFF forced me to run through the woods (formerly, but not any more, known as best wood) in the pitch black dark. Again. I don't know what gave them the idea I would enjoy that!?
Anyways, I was just progressing at a comfortable trot (3rd gear and accelerating) when a shrub, with nasty sharp branches at chest height, appeared out of nowhere and attacked me! One minute, nice woody open space, next minute big spiky sticks scraping my chest. Now, you'll remember that my chest is no longer protected by a nice layer of fat, so the skin was scraped right off. Ouch!

I am convalescing at home now. I have made it very clear to the STAFF that it is all their fault. They are, therefore, and quite rightly, trying to make it up to me. Extra blankets and a big dinner. Here you can see the big wound on my chest. Incidentally, I am lying on a member of STAFF. It made me feel a lot better! 

I hope I'll be all better for my morning hunt. This time  I think I will take the long way around the obstacles. 

Sunday, 7 December 2008

Routine is the spice of life!

The STAFF have finally learned! Who'd have thought it would ever happen? Not me! But, bless THEM, their training has really come along in the last few weeks!

My days, Monday to Sunday are now a verrry nice routine:

well before sunrise: Up and to the Best wood (before any dogs get there, I want it all to myself). We like to get there when it is still dark and the scents are fresh! If the STAFF are sluggish in the morning, I get out the big guns! I have really nailed the frequency of my yelping now, and can get the STAFF from bed to bottom of the stairs in 3 yelps = 30 seconds flat. Not bad, eh! 
And off we go. 

8am: Home and a nice hearty breakfast. 

8:30am: Up on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket and aaaaahhh, relax! In summer: sun bathing. The STAFF go out some days, not others. I don't really keep track of this, because I don't need THEM for this part of the day. As long as THEY don't bother me, crowd me on the sofa or cramp my style, I like to give THEM a bit of freedom. Personally, I think THEY should nap. Might make them look less tired in the morning. 
5:45pm (sharp!) Quick stroll around the block. Just to check the news, (we)e-mail and all. AND to see whether the nice Greyhound lady might be out on her evening round. Hellloooo baby!

Then, an impossibly long and cruel wait until the STAFF have finished feasting on their dinner before I can have mine. Meanies!

The highlight of my evening (apart from dinner!) is the training I do with the STAFF. So far I have taught them well over 20 different ways of understanding: Give me a biscuit now!  THEY are quite fast learners. I might show you some footage of the exercises later.

After all that work, I am quite tired and like to nap until bed time, when it is time for my quick patrol round the yard and then a biscuit treasure hunt. Then quick back to bed, after all, my day starts early.

I really don't know why it took them so long to understand my very simple needs! 

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

aaaaahhh....I'm wasting away!

The STAFF dragged me to the vets today. I could say a lot about that, but I have bigger fish to fry!I hopped on the scales today and I am a vanishingly small 34.8kg. When I arrived with the STAFF 4 years ago I was a strapping lad weighing 47.5kg. Perhaps a leeeetle on the heavy side. It was quite hard to walk up hills, or down hills, and jump, or run etc. and I did look like a fat labrador, but, hey, that's all besides the point because I  was warm! I am not sure what THEY are playing at, but I was pleased to hear the vet say that I looked muscly and healthy and should not lose any more weight. Perhaps I should have asked to get that very important point in writing? 

And, to be frank, and you know I am, there's  something that really bug me:
  • Everything is at least 1 hour late! It started on Sunday. We were an hour late for the morning walk, and an hour late for the evening walk. And it has continued like that ever since. I asked the STAFF about this. Repeatedly. THEY say it is some kind of Daylight Saving Time. I think that's just an excuse. But whatever it is, it really winds me up! I like knowing what is going to happen when. I'll continue to remind them that I want to go out when it feels like the right time, no matter what the clocks say. 
Why do I even stay with them, you might, quite rightly, ask? Well, in THEIR madness there appears to be some good stuff. On very rare occasions. And this is one of them. The STAFF put me through some really shocking training when we were in the Bavarian mountains over the summer. There was BIG, LOUD thunderstorms every afternoon, lasting most of the night. We were in a tent, which is clearly not safe in a thunderstorm, so I insisted that everyone sleeps in the car during the storm. I, for one, was very comfortable. But one night, the storm started after we had gone to bed in the tent. I tried to wake the STAFF, so that we could urgently evacuate to the car, but they were out like logs! Nothing I did woke them up. In the end, I fell asleep, curled up against them. And we all slept through the storm, thundering and lightning right over our heads. Shocking stuff. But somehow it really helps me with all the fireworks now. What's a bit of noise like that after you have braved the eye of the storm?

In a nutshell, my advice to you: don't leave the STAFF in charge of how much food you'll get, or you could find yourself all muscly and toned like me. And who would want that? Don't change the clocks unless you enjoy the sound of whining for an hour in the morning and the evening. Sleep in the eye of the storm, get a dap diffuser (smells like mummy), and relax during fireworks.
And, lastly, don't tangle up your legs like this if you want to be ready to "greet" the postie. I don't want to go into details, but it could be embarrassing...

Friday, 24 October 2008

Brrrr.... it's cold outside!

It is cold outside, but I do love these cold evenings. The STAFF and I snuggle up on the sofa. Well, one of the STAFF gets to snuggle, the OTHER has to sit on the small sofa, in the window, where it's draughty. All on their own. Life can be tough, I suppose.  
Me, I am verrry cozy. And a little sleepy. Tomorrow, I'll be ready for adventure!

Sunday, 5 October 2008

I HATE baths

I am not having a good day! First of all, it was raining. A lot. I do not like rain. 
I did find something very nice in the woods to roll in, which gave me a fantastic aroma. But the STAFF, overcome by jealousy, washed it off. Really! THEY gave me a b.a.t.h. in the rain! How cruel can you get? 
You probably cannot tell from my sunny expression, but I am not happy.
What I am looking forward to is the moment when the STAFF realise that the smell has not actually washed off at all. Hah! Their puny efforts were in vain. And I shall be having the last laugh!

Saturday, 4 October 2008

aaaaah..autumn is here!

I love autumn. Don't you? It's still nice and dark in the morning when we get up now. I love it! I am sure the STAFF do, too, but I wish THEY would make more of an effort to look chirpy. I mean, what's not to like? We are like creatures of the night. And when we get to the woods the hunting is fantastic! There's foxes. Rabbits. And when the sun comes up the squirrels come out. Perfect!
Yesterday, I had a great find. Fearless hunter that I am, I was crashing through the undergrowth, sniffing here and there, when the scent hit me. It was just as well, the scent hit me before I stood on it, because it was a hedgehog I found. Yum! Trouble is, the stupid thing rolled up into a spiky little ball and I did not really fancy getting my chompers into that. But I knew what to do. Same as I do at home when I want something and the STAFF are a bit slow. So, I did a verrrry tidy sit. Works every time: do a tidy sit, look adorable and, hey presto, you get stuff. After a while I realised that this hedgehog had not received the memo on what to do when I do a tidy sit. Outrageously, it stayed curled up. Now, you'll agree that's not right!
I was not sure what do to next, so I was quite glad when the STAFF appeared on the scene. Glad that is, until THEY dragged me away from my prey. Now, why would you do that? I thought THEY were going to help me with that stubborn spiky fool!

Anyway, I didn't have much time to be outraged, because I got the scent of something else and I did not have time to tell the STAFF my frank opinion of their behaviour. I had to be off at high speed. 

I can see why the wildlife is scared of me, can't you? The STAFF took this picture of me today and I must say, in the dark I am p-retty scary. Excellent! Cower wildlife! 

I think I look like the Hound of the Baskervilles. Only better! And much more scary!

The STAFF were waddling at an even slower speed than usual today. I swear frozen treacle could flow uphill faster than those two. As, I said, THEY were even slower today, because THEY faffed with the camera and took some little films of my activities. Of course THEY couldn't get me on film whilst hunting. A) the great lumbering fools are too slow, B) I am too fast, and C) it's too dark. But, THEY did get a bit of footage. It's not very good, but I post it here out of pity. THEY do try very hard, bless them. And you never know, THEY might get better at this and do me more justice with their next attempt. You have to stay optimistic. Especially if you have STAFF like I do.


Tomorrow, I'll get THEM out of bed earlier again. Why would you want to stay in bed past 6am on such glorious days?

Saturday, 20 September 2008

Setting the record straight!

Look, I'll show you my nicely fixed tooth. See the canine, looking strangely flat? That's the one I had fixed. Now it has a nice filling and rubber reinforcing. Painfree and all ready for action! I'm quite glad that I had that operation.

Anyway, I spent all day yesterday relaxing and getting rid off that anaesthesia hangover. I tried all my favourite places in the sun, on the rugs, the sofa, my bean bed, curled in a ball, stretched out on my side, rolled on my back. You name it, I relaxed in it.

And now it is time to let the STAFF know a few things. THEY had been insinuating for some time that I was getting old and had slowed down. Now, I know that THEY are not blessed with the greatest of intellects, but surely even THEY should be able to work out that a guy whose got a constant toothache is just not up to running around, hunting, barking, snuggling on the sofa, etc. 
THEY had been kidding themselves that I was all super duper obedience Weimaraner now. Pah! THEY'll soon see... I am back! I am ready for action! I am full of energy! 
You should have seen THEIR worried little faces this morning when I insisted, quite forcefully, that we get up early and for my walk and I made them go an extra long round.
THEY said I was getting old? Hah! Let's see whether THEY'll be able to keep up with me!

I'll keep you posted.

Friday, 19 September 2008

Root canal treatment: Success!

I am just glad it's all behind me now. It started with a discoloured canine, which the STAFF spotted when we got back from holiday in August. The vets here gave me a general anaesthetic, took some x-rays, but didn't see anything wrong with it. 
But, they did send the x-ray to a specialist veterinary dentist, and he said it was non-vital pulp damage and that my tooth would die slowly and it would have to come out or I'd need root canal treatment. 
Not good!
We went yesterday to have it done. But we had to drive all the way to Surrey to get to see Norman Johnstone of dentalVets. I hate saying it, but he's a really nice guy! Apparently, our normal vets have me down as a problem case, but Norman was such an easy going chap, I let him look at my teeth and all, no growling. Now, there was someone with a good barnside manner! I wasn't pleased when he explained the procedure in detail to the STAFF, but I focussed on the bit where he said I'd be much better after having it done. 
The STAFF callously left me there and went somewhere. Probably without a care in the world. I have already marked them down for punishment for that offense. Don't worry. Where was I? Oh, yes. THEY left me, and then I had to wait ages, because a big bull mastiff was having his op first. Apparently it was a case of poking him with tranquilizers from a distance, do the surgery as quick as possible and then get rid of him before he comes around again. And our vets think that I am a problem case? Maybe I should make introductions between them and Bully Mastiff?
Once I went under it was all a bit of a blur. I hear that 4mm thin wires drilled out the pulp and special American slow drills were needed to get around an obstruction. But I was not listening to all that. Made me feel queasy...
The upshot is, my canine is shorter, with a nice solid filling, some rubber filling in the pulp canal and much less pain. 
Now, if you excuse me, I didn't get much food yesterday, so I have a busy day of eating ahead of me!

Oh, and the vet has some nice pictures of my tooth, which he will send to the STAFF. I'll post them here once I have them. 

But this pup has no dodgy pulp any more and is ready to rumble!
After a few hours of rest...

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Happy birthday, little Schnuffie!

Blimey, I am 9 years old today. I wonder whether I have to start acting mature? I hope not. I still feel like a puppy. Not that I am as annoying as a puppy, of course. I am sure I can use this age thing to my advantage though. The STAFF are always quite gullible. You know, look a little shivery and the fire goes on. Look a bit more shivery and blankets get draped around you lovingly. These sorts of things are quite handy. I shall dedicate some time over the next few weeks to investigate these possibilities. 
In the meantime, I cannot hide my disappointment at the gifts the STAFF got me. It's not at all what I wanted (a remote control for the central heating,  my own account at the organic butcher's, the Walchensee, to name just a few things on my list), but I suppose THEY have made some sort of effort. The chicken will be yummy, and the squeaky toy won't annoy with its squeakiness for long. And now, we must be off hunting. It's a nice crisp day and there are some squirrels I'd like to give a little birthday surprise to, so to speak.

Sunday, 24 August 2008

Surfing in Comfort and Style to Freedom

My tooth is not that sore anymore. It might have something to do with the daily, incidentally very yummy, tablet of Rymadil, a chewy snack, liver flavoured, which takes all the pain away. And did I mention that they are very yummy? 
This means that I can enjoy my spare time again. Lying in the sun. Lying on the sofa. Browsing the internet. And, on really good days, a happy combination of all three at once. Marvellous!

I am looking for a nice holiday break to book: for one only! I am looking to leave on the day that the STAFF booked me to go to dentavets for root canal treatment. I really don't want to be there when that happens. I've got my passport and the credit card, and as long as the STAFF don't notice what I am up to, I'll be swimming in the Walchensee in Bavaria before long and the dentavets can do all the drilling without me.

Friday, 15 August 2008

This Pup has Pulp Damage

Oh dear, the vets just rang the STAFF (and the fools picked up! Why do we have caller ID, I ask you?). Apparently the vet sent my x-rays to a specialist who worked out that not all is well with my canine: I have pulp damage. There's two options: take the tooth out, or have a root canal filling and keep the tooth. I made it very clear to the STAFF that I would rather keep the tooth; which does not mean that I want anything done to any of the roots or canals anywhere. 

But you have to be pragmatic about these things and so we will be off to the specialist veterinary dentist soon. 

What a saga!

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

whoa - that stuff really does knock you out

Just got back from the vets. Had my general anaesthetic this morning and the vets looked over my teeth. Took some nice x-rays and all. Thankfully, that big canine looked fine and I did not have to have it out. Phew! I am really rather attached to it. 
The STAFF were hopeless as always in medical situations; their stress hormones and pheromones alone are enough to make me feel queasy. 

I still don't seem to have any control over my legs and they keep on flopping and moving in funny directions. I'm sure that'll wear off. On the plus side it'll be yummy painkillers for the next few days, AND the STAFF look so guilty and concerned that they'll do anything I'll ask. I'll be sure to make good use of that for as long as it lasts.

Now I have to rest (and demand more food).

Monday, 11 August 2008

My tooth hurts. Do something!

For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently.
Very wise words from Shakespeare. I think from Much ado about nothing. In any case, I digress. When we got back from holiday I took the opportunity, during our morning cuddle, to show the STAFF one of my beautifully sharp canines, which had gone a somewhat grey colour. The STAFF dragged me off to the vets, which is not what I wanted. I had thought more of a little bit of clove oil, or some other ancient remedy.
In any case, I'll have to go back in on Wednesday morning, have a general anaesthetic, x-ray and maybe even my tooth out! BUT, it is a little bit sore, and most importantly, it slows me down eating. 
I'm sure it'll be ok, but I'm a little bit nervous. Wish me luck!

Perhaps I'll stop picking up stones and stuff when we're at the beach. Perhaps. 

Friday, 8 August 2008

The Trek Tagebuch: Otto in Germany

So, I have slept pretty much solidly since we got back from our travels. And I feel suitably refreshed now to share with you some of my adventures. 
Well, that rumply, smelly trip lasted only about 30 minutes and then we were back on the motorway, driving through France, then Belgium, stayed in a hotel, drove through Holland and then (a mere 32 hours after we set off) we arrived in the Lueneburger Heide in the north of Germany, visiting family. All very nice. There was even a quite cute little girl dog there for me to make introductions with. You'll agree that she is very good looking!
But the joy did not last long. We had regrettable misunderstanding, when she assumed that I was feasting on her food when I was in fact only drinking some water from my own bowl, and she bit me! Not badly, but you know, I got a bit of a fright. Thankfully the STAFF sorted things out with their family and I got to spend the rest of our stay there in peace. 
Then we went to see Oma, who lives very close to the beach! I love the beach! I love sand! I love water! I love Oma! I had a great time. But before long we moved on again. 

Another 9 hours and we had crossed Germany from North to South and were in the Black Forest, or Schwarzwald, as the locals call it. A massive area that is pretty much just trees, hills and water is as good a holiday location as you can choose, I'd say. I even had my own private little river, which I could cool my paws in after a long day of activity. And also first thing in the morning. And any time of day really. Selfishly the STAFF and Oma took me on some excursions which seemed to me to be mainly for their enjoyment. Not mine. Would you believe that?
I was compensated with some very nice walks though. Including one on our last day in the Schwarzwald. We took a cable car all the way to the top of the Feldberg, which at just under 1500m is the highest in the Schwarzwald. And once on top we lollopped through the meadows looking for snacks and butterflies. Well, the STAFF seemed to be admiring the view. But I lollopped and enjoyed the fresh air.
I was beginning to suspect that things were going a bit too well. After all, this whole trip had been arranged and planned by the STAFF, and I don't need to tell you that this normally means that something will go wrong. And so it was...

We got back to the car, and I spotted it first, one of the tyres: flat as a pancake. Uhoh, I thought. Not good! Best not mention it to the STAFF. Of course, they spotted it anyway. But, not too much of a problem you'd have thought. They have breakdown insurance. They have mobile telephones. It is just a matter of waiting a little while, some kind of breakdown car will come half-way up the Feldberg, fix the mess and we can get back to my private river. That's what you and I would think and do. 
The STAFF, however, with their very own brand of wisdom and logic at work, had left all
documents and means of communication in the holiday appartment, miles away. The Idiots! 
4 hours it took to get it all sorted. 4 hours of waiting. of doing nothing! 
And all of that just because I am lumbered with STAFF who are frankly not the most useful and practical people I've come across. It is not easy at times to be supportive of them. But I do try.

The next day we dropped off Oma at the airport. I was very upset, because I love Oma and I really did not want her to leave. But the STAFF dropped her off, ignoring my protests and drove on and on and on until we reached Bavaria, which is technically a part of Germany, even though it is very different to the north where Oma lives. 
When we arrived in Bavaria I was very excited, because I got to hook up with my dear friend Gerlinde! Graciously we allowed the STAFF to tag along, even though I was not in a good mood with them after the flat tyre and leaving Oma incidents.
But then Gerlinde led us to a place of pure magic. A lake in the Bavarian mountains which was so beautiful, and clear and, frankly, cold, that it was like a dream. I won't tell you the name of the lake. I don't want you to go. I want it all to myself. 
As you may know, the STAFF have been insinuating for some time that I may not be able to swim properly. What an outrageous remark! Just because I have chosen not to, does not mean that I am not able to. I was reluctant to let the STAFF know of my abilities, lest it puts more crazy ideas in their heads. BUT, when I saw one of the STAFF go for MY stick, I could not contain myself and I pushed into the depth and paddled with a great splash, at high sleek speed, until I had the stick and my pride was recovered. 
I found the experience of swimming in this coldest and deepest lake in Germany so enjoyable that I wanted to come back every day and do it again. Thankfully, Gerlinde communicated this to the STAFF and we came at least once every day. I could have done without the 9km up and down mountains on bendy roads to get there, but needs must, I guess. My favourite photo shows me and my friend cooling our feet in the water, with the sun shining on our backs. Now, the STAFF may want to tell you that I learned to swim in this lake, but you and I know that's not true.
In this picture you get a good view of the Herzogstand. The big mountain just beyond my bottom. And that's where we took the STAFF on one of the days. The trouble is that the Herzogstand is quite high, and the best way to get up there is in a cable car. But this cable car travels at an incline (or decline!) of 88% at nearly 20mph (or 30km/h)! I was nearly sick on the way up. Not from the journey, but the smell of fear in the cabin was almost too much to take. 

When we got up there, the view was amazing. 
I spotted my favourite lake, no more than 1000m down, and I was getting ready to go there (I spotted a shortcut which was not even entirely vertical) but the STAFF held me back. THEY just have no sense of fun or adventure, nor do they understand the urgency of the need to get to the water. 
The time in this little paradise was far too brief and before long we were back on our 36hour journey home. All very dull. 

But, we did spot something in Bavaria which looked slightly less than safe: just a little sign by the side of the road, saying that there are low flying planes and to pay attention to the traffic lights. I got the feeling the STAFF were not taking the whole thing seriously, but stopped anyway at the red traffic light. Good job.
They were certainly not kidding when they warned us of low-flying planes crossing the road!

So, now I am safely back home. And I still have Bestwood and all. But I can tell you that I really miss my lake and I miss Oma and Gerlinde and the sense of adventure every day. I hope the STAFF and I will go on holiday again quite soon!

Saturday, 2 August 2008

Take me Home, country roads!

You may wonder why I have not been posting anything for a while. Well, it has a simple and shocking reason. The STAFF abducted me and took me on a tour around Germany, my spiritual home. I was gone 3 1/2 weeks, and I did so much. There are tales of cable cars and mountains and lakes and learning to swim and, phew, even thinking about it is too much.
View Larger Map

You can see the locations I visited - and that does NOT even include the many, many, many day trips, but just places we stayed. You'll understand that I cannot go into details now. I'll have to sleep first for, ooh, 2 weeks, then I'll put their car up on ebay for £1 "buy it now" to avoid any possibility of the STAFF abducting me again, and then I'll tell you all about our crazy road trip.

But for now, Gute Nacht!

Monday, 2 June 2008

Life's a beach!

The STAFF and I took a well-earned short break over the Bank Holiday weekend. THEY said they would take me to some sandy beach paradise, and I was a little surprised when I saw us head in the Newcastle direction. But, I thought to myself, let's wait and see, it might be ok after all!

After only 3 1/2 hours in the car we were there. It used to take us 4 1/2 hours, because the STAFF like getting lost. Thankfully, they listened to my advice and bought a satnav system. I mean, I am NOT going to drive thousands of kilometers through Germany and Austria with them when THEY cannot even find the way from here to there or anywhere. Pfff - not me!

Anyway, the beach trip was really rather a lot of fun! I cannot deny it! We went 3 times in 2 days. Not too shabby a rate at all!
It was really early in the morning and the STAFF and I went to Tynemouth Longsands, and it was well nice. Lots of sand. And quite a bit of water. And, as always, the possibility that a snack or Eau de Merde might have washed up on the shore.

I left some footprints in the sand to scare the more gullible beachwalkers. Looks like a big bear, don't you think?
The most dangerous episode was, of course, related to the STAFF and their total lack of health and safety awareness. Here you can see one of them rushing towards the water, and almost getting soaked! THEY can be grateful they have me! I held on to my toy with all my might and slowed them down before we got our tootsies wet! Honestly, can you believe how silly THEY are? I would never go and swim in this. And I know that I can swim! I am not so sure about the STAFF. I have never seen them swim, and I am not so confident THEY could. With the whole ungainly stumbling about on two legs, no proper traction control, no acceleration uphill, etc. Makes you worry what they'd do when they hit deep water, doesn't it. Whatever would they do without me?
In the afternoon we went to the lighthouse on St Mary's island. That was quite good fun. I got to scramble a lot on rocks above the crashing waves. The STAFF were shouting all excitedly whenever I approached the edge of the rocky island, so I assume THEY were having fun, too!

Well, anyways, that was last weekend. And I have to say that beaches are quite good fun. But, honestly, there is just no place like home, where the Best Wood is just on the doorstep!

Sunday, 11 May 2008

Water - glorious water (and mud!)

I told you there'd be more excitement today! We went to one of my favouritest places (apart from the Best Wood). Clumber National Park, which has - wait for it - a Lake! Just for me. I can paddle in it. I can drink it. I can piddle it back out again. It's like a magic Circle of Wonderful. 

We got there early, of course, but the sun was nice and warm. Not too warm. There was noone aound - just the STAFF and I and a whole big lake to play in. Perfect!
I couldn't wait to get into the water. In fact, I didn't wait, and went right in. The STAFF, as always, were reluctant to get their feet wet. But I shared some of the water I accumulated in my coat with them by shaking vigorously. I think THEY really appreciated that.

And then we played Shticks in the water. My favourite!
There is nothing like the taste of slightly soggy wood straight from a lake. If you haven't tried it, well, frankly, you haven't lived!

Now, just look at these little cute feathery balls of fluff. 
Isn't it all a splendid sight?

It was such a great trip out! And even though I tried to run through a wire fence and got stopped very rudely and abruptly in my tracks, it was just perfect. In fact, the whole weekend was just great! I was in such a good mood that I gave the STAFF the evening off and sent them to the cinema. I can be generous to a fault when the mood takes me. 

But now, I must sleep. All this activity has really tired me out. And I am not used to being in such a good mood, so that takes a bit of getting used to. I wonder whether it will last...?

Saturday, 10 May 2008

A Weimy's work is never done!

Pfffffff.... I am quite tired. Now I am not one for complaining (inexplicably the STAFF seem to be sniggering and frankly almost guffawing as I type this. I don't know why - it's just THEM being rude!). As I was saying: I am not one for complaining, but today was extremely busy!

It started like any good Saturday should: up at 6:30am (slightly late for my liking, but the STAFF are hard to get out of bed sometimes), and off to the Best Wood. 

Here you can see me scampering about in the lush vegetation, just looking around. 
And then of course I spotted the cheeky little camper. See for yourself! There it sat, bold as anything. You've got to admire that kind of courage!

If I am honest, I thought that this was quite a cute little squirrel. So, I acted as though I had not seen it, in order to stop the STAFF from getting overexcited. I didn't want THEM to scare the cheeky little fella.

The little scamp went up a tree anyway. Probably safest. After all, the STAFF are liable to point and bark all excitedly when THEY see squirrels. 

After the nice walk, I had been hoping to get a bit of sleep. But no, the STAFF roped me into helping with the gardening. I don't think I should have to work at all. But THEY work me harder than you can imagine! 

I did a nice job of the flower beds though, even if I say so myself. That was before the STAFF jealously shooed me away. Just because my efforts in gardening always outshine theirs, and THEY just cannot take the creative competition. Oh well. I got quite a bit of work done anyway.

And now I will sleep. It has been a busy day, and I am sure tomorrow will hold more excitement. 

Thursday, 8 May 2008

Foam density and Feather Filling under the Spotlight

Continuing my pursuit of PhD sleep research at a relentless pace, with no consideration for my own comfort or well-being, I have today investigated the puzzling, most important and thus far unanswered question of the number of cushions needed to get really comfy. 

After much study I can reveal the following, extremely newsworthy results: 2 for the bottom, one for the head and chest, with additional armrest support and blanket covering. Aaaahhh....
Today was a good day for science. And not too bad for the scientist either, if you see what I mean. Will I be able to replicate or even expand on this wonderful study? Probably not. You see, the STAFF, both firmly placed in the category of 'Total Ignoramus' have made off with my materials and dragged them into the washing machine. I don't even know when I will get my vital research tools back, and when I do, I bet you they'll be all smelly and gross. 

But that's what science is all about. You cannot spare yourself any hardship in the relentless pursuit of knowledge. I'll think of other ways to expand my research. You'll see.  

Sunday, 4 May 2008

all in the name of science...

Sleeping time, and the living is easy. 
Squirrels are jumping in trees on high!
The STAFF are rich, and I am good looking.
So, why would this Weimy cry?
I am sure that's how the lullaby went. I was humming it to myself as I am pursuing my PhD in sleep research. Today's experiment: the STAFFs' sleeping positions on the sofa examined for relaxation, comfort, aesthetics and other factors. Of course, I look better in their pose than they do, but overall, my verdict is: Not bad! Not too bad at all!

Saturday, 3 May 2008

Squirrels, squirrels...dropping out of trees!

So, the world is good again. I was back in the Best Wood on Tuesday morning and very pleased to see that my paw held up. On the downside I got no more medication which spelled the end of my Emmenthal tasting sessions, but hey ho, I'll think of some other ways to get my paws on some delicacies. 

The weather is quite nice again now. And I am sleeping very well. The STAFF and I sleep in separate rooms now, and it is very relaxing. I have a new bed, in addition to the sofa-bed, in my bachelor pad on the first floor and it is very comfy. So, all in all, life is good.

PS: Really, a squirrel did fall out of a tree. Poor thing. Couldn't quite make the jump... But before anyone could say "Gotcha" and get a protein-rich snack the little blighter had already up and left and was up the tree again. Had I not felt sorry for it, I could have had it all to myself. Silly me!

Monday, 28 April 2008

Shelter from the Storm

So, a big old thunderstorm was blowing over our house this evening. The first in a long time. I should've known. The weekend didn't start well, and this was certainly a low point. You might be able to spot me in the depth of the shelter the STAFF hastily erected around my sofa. Sometimes THEY are little dears.
Anyway, as I said, this weekend has been p-retty bad. It didn't start off too badly. One of the STAFF had been quite poorly for a few months, but now has some kind of medication to take which makes them much better. I do note that the STAFF never take their medication hidden in chicken or cheese. What a foolishly missed opportunity for a snack! When I hear the pill boxes rattle, I go and check it out. I mean, I don't necessarily want the drugs, but there's nothing wrong at all with just a little bit of chicken or cheese or both. Why would you have them with water, when you have the magic capability to open the Fridge? Beats me. 

Anyway. As I said, they are better now. Just as well, as nursing is not my strong suite and I find it pretty tiring. And dull. But! Because they are feeling all better and well and full of high jinx, we were all doing a bit of running through the woods. And noone warned me of the big pothole in the path! My backpaw went right into it. Landed on a stone, and OUCH! I could feel the sprain straight away. The STAFF still dragged me to the vets. On the plus side that means tasty medication. I'm having mine in Emmenthal, which has a delightfully nutty flavour. On the downside it means no trips out, for who knows how long. I am sooooo bored. And now the thunder and lightning. Pffff... I am going straight back to sleep and I hope when I wake up, it'll all look a bit brighter!

Friday, 28 March 2008


Today I smiled, and all at once things didn't look so bad.
Today I shared with someone else, a bit of hope I had.
Today I sang a little song, and felt my heart grow light,
And walked a happy little mile, with not a cloud in sight.
Today I worked with what I had and longed for nothing more,
And what had seemed like only weeds, were flowers at my door.
Today I loved a little more and complained a little less,
And in the giving of myself, I forgot my weariness.

Ah, I feel so fuzzy and good and warm and I just want to spread happiness...Wait! What's happening!? What am I thinking? What am I saying? That doesn't sound like me! I wonder whether the STAFF are putting something into my water?

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

Mountain Survival Holiday - Here I come!

The STAFF are still busy planning our big European tour. For a while I was not too keen on the trip. Hours in the car. And then maybe not even a house but some small kind of canvas number without radiators, enough beds or any of the comforts I find so enjoyable. But, just the other day, I heard the STAFF mention that we will take at least one sofa, just for me. And my friend Gerlinde has very kindly offered to carry it over the mountains. At least I think that is what she meant. She must have done. What a darling! Well, I don't assume it is too heavy, but still, a very nice offer!

I can picture our ruffti-tuffti trip to the Alps now. I am sure this is exactly what it will be like!

I think I was born for mountain survival.

And, of course, if Gerlinde carries one of the sofas, the STAFF can manage another one each. With 3 sofas I should avoid any sore areas I might get from being forced to lie in the same position for too long.

Sunday, 23 March 2008

Searching for Easter

Couldn't wite in a while. Was just too tired! The STAFF had family over from Germany and it was very tiring looking after them. Particularly as I had to share my sofa and my bachelor pad. If I had known, I would have vetoed the visit. Mind you, they did bring me nice things, I suppose. And they fussed me all the time. And the little one played sticks and rugby with me. All the time.

Actually, that was pretty much the biggest problem; the visitors were sooo energetic. Particularly the young one. It was just round the clock go-go-go. Non-stop action. Bam!Bam!Bam! I got no sleep at all. One some bad days I got no more than, say 12 hours. How can anyone survive a deprivation schedule like that?

I am not used to that kind of stuff. Between you and me, the STAFF are essentially lazy. And, I have to admit, I like them that way. But, when the vistors were here, we were all action, action, action. Sticks, sticks, sticks.

Watch me here, bringing it down in mid-flight and killing it outright. Cower mere wooden things!

Anyway, it was all very, very, very tiring. I had to sleep for a week after they were gone. And when I woke up it was Easter. Great. I love Easter. People hide chocolate eggs for you. Well, they hide chocolate eggs. And if you find them, they are yours. I know the law. Once you have it in your chops, it's all yours. Anyway. It's Easter. And the STAFF are hanging around at home with me a lot. I tolerate that - if THEY behave well. So, we're sitting at home, THEY mention it's Easter, and I'm thinking to myself, "Let's go and find us a nice Easter squirrel. Nice and juicy, stuffed with crunchy nuts." And when we're done with that, let's get some choc eggs for dessert. Yummy, yummy, squirrel and chocolate in my tummy!

You can imagine my absolute horror and disappointment when I emerged from the car and found that it was snowing. And icy. And blowing a gale. For a horrible moment I thought that I had slept too long, all the way through the nice warm seasons and it was winter again! Aaaaahh. The STAFF assured me it was Easter.
But I knew straight away that there would be no squirrels. No chocolate. No nothing. Just frozen water. Hurled at you at great speed. I may have a jacket. But I was still chilly. And no yummy chocolate squirrel in my tummy.

Brrr. I shake in disgust. And to keep warm!
I think for the rest of this so called Easter I'll try and stay indoors. And help the STAFF plan our big tour of Germany, Austria and Holland. If I don't pay attention, I might not get all the comforts on the trip which I should have.

And, I still want compensation for having missed out on any kind of Easter snack. And for all the calories I burned to entertain the guests.

I'll check out the legal situation. Maybe I should get professional advice.