Friday, 28 March 2008


Today I smiled, and all at once things didn't look so bad.
Today I shared with someone else, a bit of hope I had.
Today I sang a little song, and felt my heart grow light,
And walked a happy little mile, with not a cloud in sight.
Today I worked with what I had and longed for nothing more,
And what had seemed like only weeds, were flowers at my door.
Today I loved a little more and complained a little less,
And in the giving of myself, I forgot my weariness.

Ah, I feel so fuzzy and good and warm and I just want to spread happiness...Wait! What's happening!? What am I thinking? What am I saying? That doesn't sound like me! I wonder whether the STAFF are putting something into my water?

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

Mountain Survival Holiday - Here I come!

The STAFF are still busy planning our big European tour. For a while I was not too keen on the trip. Hours in the car. And then maybe not even a house but some small kind of canvas number without radiators, enough beds or any of the comforts I find so enjoyable. But, just the other day, I heard the STAFF mention that we will take at least one sofa, just for me. And my friend Gerlinde has very kindly offered to carry it over the mountains. At least I think that is what she meant. She must have done. What a darling! Well, I don't assume it is too heavy, but still, a very nice offer!

I can picture our ruffti-tuffti trip to the Alps now. I am sure this is exactly what it will be like!

I think I was born for mountain survival.

And, of course, if Gerlinde carries one of the sofas, the STAFF can manage another one each. With 3 sofas I should avoid any sore areas I might get from being forced to lie in the same position for too long.

Sunday, 23 March 2008

Searching for Easter

Couldn't wite in a while. Was just too tired! The STAFF had family over from Germany and it was very tiring looking after them. Particularly as I had to share my sofa and my bachelor pad. If I had known, I would have vetoed the visit. Mind you, they did bring me nice things, I suppose. And they fussed me all the time. And the little one played sticks and rugby with me. All the time.

Actually, that was pretty much the biggest problem; the visitors were sooo energetic. Particularly the young one. It was just round the clock go-go-go. Non-stop action. Bam!Bam!Bam! I got no sleep at all. One some bad days I got no more than, say 12 hours. How can anyone survive a deprivation schedule like that?

I am not used to that kind of stuff. Between you and me, the STAFF are essentially lazy. And, I have to admit, I like them that way. But, when the vistors were here, we were all action, action, action. Sticks, sticks, sticks.

Watch me here, bringing it down in mid-flight and killing it outright. Cower mere wooden things!

Anyway, it was all very, very, very tiring. I had to sleep for a week after they were gone. And when I woke up it was Easter. Great. I love Easter. People hide chocolate eggs for you. Well, they hide chocolate eggs. And if you find them, they are yours. I know the law. Once you have it in your chops, it's all yours. Anyway. It's Easter. And the STAFF are hanging around at home with me a lot. I tolerate that - if THEY behave well. So, we're sitting at home, THEY mention it's Easter, and I'm thinking to myself, "Let's go and find us a nice Easter squirrel. Nice and juicy, stuffed with crunchy nuts." And when we're done with that, let's get some choc eggs for dessert. Yummy, yummy, squirrel and chocolate in my tummy!

You can imagine my absolute horror and disappointment when I emerged from the car and found that it was snowing. And icy. And blowing a gale. For a horrible moment I thought that I had slept too long, all the way through the nice warm seasons and it was winter again! Aaaaahh. The STAFF assured me it was Easter.
But I knew straight away that there would be no squirrels. No chocolate. No nothing. Just frozen water. Hurled at you at great speed. I may have a jacket. But I was still chilly. And no yummy chocolate squirrel in my tummy.

Brrr. I shake in disgust. And to keep warm!
I think for the rest of this so called Easter I'll try and stay indoors. And help the STAFF plan our big tour of Germany, Austria and Holland. If I don't pay attention, I might not get all the comforts on the trip which I should have.

And, I still want compensation for having missed out on any kind of Easter snack. And for all the calories I burned to entertain the guests.

I'll check out the legal situation. Maybe I should get professional advice.

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Rest before the Storm - The STAFF are acting suspiciously

Blimey, it was colder than the Vet's thermometer this morning. I had to engage in all sorts of high jinxs just to keep warm. The foolish STAFF mistook my desperate attempts to ward of hypothermia for excitement on my part. Sometimes I despair with these fools!

Would YOU think that I'd jump fences just for the fun of it? Well, would you? Honestly...

I do have a feeling that I enjoyed myself immensely chasing sticks. But then again, it might have been a dream - it is all a bit of a blur to me now. Quite a pleasant thought, really, if I am honest. And you know me, I tend to be.

The real cause for concern is the STAFFs' recent flurry of activity. They make unbelievable and totally inconsiderate noise, associated with raised tempers and voices, loud crying, bumps, searching for the First Aid kit and so on and on. What do THEY call it? Is it DIY? Well, that, in combination with attacking me with the vacuum cleaning monster, scrubbing of floors, cleaning behind the cooker and, worst of all, washing my beds in some really stinky stuff (puh puh!), can only mean that we are expecting visitors to stay over.

I am doing the only sensible thing. Resting. And hoping that they are considerate visitors who won't want to share the sofa. There is hardly enough space for me in any case!

Saturday, 1 March 2008

Of storms and sticks

So, apparently there was an earthquake a couple of nights ago. I can't comment, I was asleep. A little bit of ground shaking and walls wobbling is not going to make me miss my well-earned rest! What I did notice was that last night there was a big storm blowing. I think its called Emma. Well, Emma kept on lifting up the roof tiles and then they would clatter back down again. Very inconsiderate. I was trying to sleep, you know!
On the plus side, big storms mean lots and lots of prime quality sticks, fresh of the tree. Great!

Just look at the size of this beauty!

The STAFF don't seem to appreciate the fresh sticks as much as I do. As a matter of fact, they seem positively jumpy when nice fresh sticks arrive off the tree and land right in front of you. I find it exciting! But I guess the STAFF are a little silly and not half as brave as I am!

So, I have been mentioning the Best Wood for a while now. And I mentioned to the STAFF that it would be really great to move there. Makes sense, right? And, having looked up from my sticks for a moment, I saw just the right kind of property. Right in the middle of the Best Wood. I think the STAFF should buy it. And then we can build a fence and keep dogs out. With the exception of a rather lovely Greyhound lady I met a little while ago, but I digress. I think the STAFF and I would be very happy here!
And I wouldn't have to travel in the car to the Best Wood any more. As you can see, I have hardly any space at all! And only a couple of blankets! But worst of all, the STAFF have a questionable taste in music which they insist on playing in the car. And worse still, sometimes they sing along. Ouch, it makes your ears hurt! But when I sing along, they tell me to be quiet. It's an outrage! Especially, as I am the one with the largest vocal range and volume. Tsk!

But anyway. The reason why I am so happy in the Best Wood? Well, when you run after that stick, chase that fox or bark at those squirrels, you experience a moment of absolute joy and freedom! All worries lift of your shoulders. You even forget about food for a moment. There is just you, the chase, the adrenaline, and the anticipation that any moment now your jaws will close around your quarry and the STAFF will screech in delight. Pure magic!

Anyway, I have to go and sleep. The STAFF subjected me to the indignation of a b.a.t.h. I can only assume that means that they wangled being invited to a dinner-party as my hangers-on. Someone needs to drive me there. And the kind people normally give them a leeetle bit of food and attention, too. But if I am to entertain my hosts, I must rest now.