Saturday, 1 March 2008

Of storms and sticks

So, apparently there was an earthquake a couple of nights ago. I can't comment, I was asleep. A little bit of ground shaking and walls wobbling is not going to make me miss my well-earned rest! What I did notice was that last night there was a big storm blowing. I think its called Emma. Well, Emma kept on lifting up the roof tiles and then they would clatter back down again. Very inconsiderate. I was trying to sleep, you know!
On the plus side, big storms mean lots and lots of prime quality sticks, fresh of the tree. Great!

Just look at the size of this beauty!

The STAFF don't seem to appreciate the fresh sticks as much as I do. As a matter of fact, they seem positively jumpy when nice fresh sticks arrive off the tree and land right in front of you. I find it exciting! But I guess the STAFF are a little silly and not half as brave as I am!

So, I have been mentioning the Best Wood for a while now. And I mentioned to the STAFF that it would be really great to move there. Makes sense, right? And, having looked up from my sticks for a moment, I saw just the right kind of property. Right in the middle of the Best Wood. I think the STAFF should buy it. And then we can build a fence and keep dogs out. With the exception of a rather lovely Greyhound lady I met a little while ago, but I digress. I think the STAFF and I would be very happy here!
And I wouldn't have to travel in the car to the Best Wood any more. As you can see, I have hardly any space at all! And only a couple of blankets! But worst of all, the STAFF have a questionable taste in music which they insist on playing in the car. And worse still, sometimes they sing along. Ouch, it makes your ears hurt! But when I sing along, they tell me to be quiet. It's an outrage! Especially, as I am the one with the largest vocal range and volume. Tsk!

But anyway. The reason why I am so happy in the Best Wood? Well, when you run after that stick, chase that fox or bark at those squirrels, you experience a moment of absolute joy and freedom! All worries lift of your shoulders. You even forget about food for a moment. There is just you, the chase, the adrenaline, and the anticipation that any moment now your jaws will close around your quarry and the STAFF will screech in delight. Pure magic!

Anyway, I have to go and sleep. The STAFF subjected me to the indignation of a b.a.t.h. I can only assume that means that they wangled being invited to a dinner-party as my hangers-on. Someone needs to drive me there. And the kind people normally give them a leeetle bit of food and attention, too. But if I am to entertain my hosts, I must rest now.


Gerlinde said...

Dear Otto,

it is funny that you mention how the STAFF tells you to be quiet in the car. Is this one of those weird modern ideas people talk them into at dog class? Because I have a hazed memory of how they suggested earplugs to me on a similar occasion. Although it seemed unclear to me how earplugs would stop you from telling us the way so euphorically that the whole car was resonating. But maybe I was just too confused to understand, after sitting close to your voice for about an hour or so.
Anyway, speaking of cars, I agree that your space in the car is way too small. Maybe you should ask them to remove the back seats for you. I think it's the least they could do!
By the way, are you sure about buying that property? The heating costs might be horrendous!

Yours faithfully,

(Pavar)Otti said...

Dear Gerlinde, I have very fond memories of us chatting in the car! Of course, these are all things of the past. Some time ago the STAFF, who frankly looked a little frazzled, told me that I had to be quiet in the car. Would you believe it? They said something about deafness, frayed nerves, road safety and blood pressure. Do you have any idea what that might have to do with me singing in the car, or pointing out landmarks to them?

I was a bit concerned whether they'd find the way anywhere without me pointing out; WOOD WOOD WOOD WOOD FIELD FIELD FIELD WOOD LAKE OHMYGODOHMYGOD.
However, they do seem to manage most of the time.

Now we are all quiet in the car most of the time. I don't speak. They don't speak. And if they do, I join in! It is all very boring. You must have a word with them when we come to visit. And great idea with the backseat-removal! That way we can sit together in the back, you and I, and I can point out all the local landmarks to you.
I look forward to it very much!

Chief of STAFF said...

PS: Heating costs? I am not sure what you mean. The STAFF take care of that kind of stuff.