Friday, 28 August 2009

Preparing for an adventure holiday with Dr. Otto Jones

The STAFF, no doubt in an attempt to suck up to me (which I always like to encourage), have mentioned that we're going on an adventure holiday. Excellent!
In preparation for the adventure I dusted down my Indiana Jones hat. Now, all I need is adventure, somewhere to dig, new places to smell and eat out every night. And I am sure that looking like Dr Otto "Indy" Jones cannot hurt when making the acquaintance of any l-adees I might meet on the trip.

Thursday, 27 August 2009

The STAFF are useless

I really am punished with the most incompetent and useless STAFF.
This is me this afternoon. Now, look at this picture carefully. With the information available to you, judging from my expression, levels of activity, etc. (and bearing in mind that the same information was available to STAFF), would you say that I look like I'd like to:
  1. Have a baby and small dominant terrier lady visiting
  2. go swimming for hours against jets and without flotation aids
  3. be left alone to sleep
Answers are at the bottom of the page. But you already know what the answer is, don't you? And was it hard to get to the right answer? And you also know which two things STAFF put me through, one after the other.

I am sooooo tired.

I think I am going to look for new STAFF. Applications from qualified people are welcome!

The correct answer is: 3

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

you know what they say about dogs with big paws....

Sometimes, to get really comfy, you just have to stretch out all paws and then you can relaaaaaaaax. Ah, bliss.

Monday, 24 August 2009

nothing like a little bit of a schnuzzle....

After my quite tiring weekend, and with the evenings getting a little cooler, I have to try that bit harder to get cozy.
I'd say I managed nicely here....Night, night.

Sunday, 23 August 2009

Weimaranering on Stanton Moor

Well, what do you know. First you cannot drag the STAFF off the sofa for love nor money and then THEY make us go into complete overdrive.
So, I found myself on this beautiful Sunday morning in the middle of the Peak District on top of Stanton Moor with the world just full of beautiful opportunities for any Weimy out there willing to seize them.
And willing I was. It was just tricky to decide on where to go first. Left? Right? Straight on? Ah, sod it. Just go everywhere.
If only STAFF were faster walkers and there wouldn't always be these hours of downtime. I sooooo loathe waiting.
Apparently there was a nice view for STAFF. Not as nice as the smells were for this little Weimy. Very fragrant, full of notes of delicious wildlife. If only I could get some!

With such slow coaches on board there is always a lot of herding that needs doing. What do THEY take me for - a border collie? Honestly, a Weimy's work is just never done!
Good that I managed to hunt down and kill this stick. That made me feel a lot better and released quite a bit of tension.

And then when I saw this stone circle I got the idea for a very cunning plan. If I say so myself. I decided to sit down and blend in with the stones and then just remain still, completely still like a Ninja Weimy, until some unsuspecting wildlife would walk straight into my open chops and BAM! Dead. Dinner. But alas, after sitting still for days. Or perhaps hours. Well minutes. Ok, well, seconds. Anyway, I lost patience and wandered off. A good plan in principle, but you probably need the patience of anything a lot more patient than me to execute it.

All in all a very good trip out. I cannot help but smile. But now I must sleep. When STAFF are in this kinda mood, you just never know what adventure awaits you next. Good that I am a practised power napper. Night night.

Saturday, 22 August 2009

deer stalking

I went about my business when we chanced on a herd of big SNACKS!
The only trouble is that STAFF saw them, too, and clicked me into my most hated harness.
Try as I might I could not think of a way to get there. Ah, sometimes you just have to face up to disappointment and hope that there'll be a day when you can be quicker than STAFF and get yourself a nice bit of venison.... Hope springs eternal!

Of course, had I been eating venison I would not have needed to argue with an aggressive pitbull. So, I'd say STAFF made the wrong call there on so many fronts.

Saturday, 15 August 2009

walking through clouds

So, you look at the weather forecast, it says "rain", what do you do? Well, any sensible person might get a paper and some nice food (!) and plan for a nice relaxing day on the sofa. The STAFF, as you know, do not fall into this wonderful category and in THEIR wisdom planned a 6 mile hike through the Goyt Valley in the Peak District. And I had no choice but to tag along.
At first, I was having fun. The sun was sort of shining and I could scamp about to my heart's content. STAFF were looking at some ruins. How dull. I was looking for food - how exciting!
I am smiling away in the sunshine. At this point no one had taken the trouble to apprise me of the length of this jaunt. I am smiling the smile of all innocent dogs anywhere who can't read maps...
And you see so many great things out in the country. Like walking snacks! Yum! I was going for a sort of Wild West impression.... This path is too small for all of us. Leave now and I shall hunt you. Stay there and I shall hunt you! A clear win-win situation, apart from the fact that STAFF had clipped me into a harness which makes running at speed quite difficult. THEY always do that when there are nice big wooly snacks around. It is most frustrating!

Still, I enjoyed scampering through the long grass. Long grass has the advantage that it hides from view all exciting things, but not from the nostrils. In other words, I can find things that STAFF don't even dream about. And what THEY don't know about, THEY cannot stop you from snacking on.

As you can see, I am rather pleased with my efforts. I had me a good number of interesting things. Trouble with scampering through long grass is that you get grass seeds in your ears. Those are particularly tricky to remove when you lack a small finger and the kind of elbows that allow you to put the little finger in your ear and wiggle. That, and the ability to open cupboards and food containers, has to be the only advantage of bi-ped anatomy.Teehee! STAFF were trying to take a picture - pretty annoying. And there is always that point where THEY are not entirely sure where you are and the lens is going all over the place. So, I kept low, snuck up and at the right moment BOO! Haha. STAFF nearly dropped that camera. I was chuckling to myself for ages after that.

And I seized the opportunity to clamber up some hills to show STAFF who is King of these hills! It was also so windy. STAFF, who don't have 4PawDrive, nearly got blown off the path a couple of times. It was very funny. THEY looked like THEY walked when THEY have partaken in the imbibing of a whole half pint of weak ale.
With hindsight I should have been more worried about the pretty clouds building up in the background. And then with the wind and whatnot and all, suddenly the clouds were not above us, or behind us or anything but all around us and we were walking through the driving rain inside a cloud. I hate getting wet. Unless I am swimming. There's no pictures of the torrential downpour, because we don't have an underwater camera.But here you can see the path we've just come up and the white stuff lying on it, which is a rain cloud. Eeeugh!

I was trying to encourage STAFF to hurry. I could see the clouds were closing in on us again! Thankfully, I had packed my Kagool, otherwise I should have been drenched. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but I am sure when I was a puppy the summers were warmer and longer, well, you know, more than just one day.

Back in the car, I crashed down on my blanket immediately. As you can see my accommodation is very basic. The STAFF totally make me rough it. After 6 miles up and down hills and through torrential rain and all I slept quite nicely on the way back.

And you know, I actually enjoyed myself. I wonder where we are going next weekend? I'd say adventures are totally back on the menu!

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

of back aches, memory foam, boredom and dressing up...

So, my back's been giving me a bit of trouble. Not sure why. The swimming was great for everything else. A sore back is pretty depressing, I tell you! You cannot run properly AND it is hard to find a comfy way to lie down, too. That's two of my favourite activities ruined!
I sought to remedy the situation by asking for a kind donation of an ottoman. I had seen some Weimaraner friends in the US of A with one and, boy, did I like the look of them (the Weim ladies, too, ahem). No point in asking the STAFF for one. As you know THEY are more tightfisted than seems humanly possible..... Anyway, I asked for a donation, and whilst I had an assurance that someone had very kindly sent one it has not arrived yet. I think it is the old "cheque's in the post chestnut".

The only other option was to make it very clear to the STAFF that I was not comfortable anywhere. Whilst THEY are tightfisted as anything in buying me even the smallest bit of luxury, like say, a room sized ottoman (I mean, hello, it's even called Otto!)...anyway, whilst THEY would not buy me even the smallest bit of luxury THEY are total suckers for buying anything that's healthy or wholesome in some way.

So, before you know it, THEY arrived back from the pet store, not with the ottoman I had asked for, but with some memory foam bed number. Apparently the ultimate in pet luxury and comfort you could ask for. As you can see, I am not so sure....Yes, it is supportive. Yes, it is comfy. Yes, it is wholesome and healthy and my back doesn't hurt. But, is it fun? Nope, not one bit.
Thankfully, I could convey that message and make it very clear that one memory foam bed was not enough. So, THEY ordered me a second one of the interweb. In the meantime, I hunted and killed a soft furred creature and when the bed arrived I covered it in the pelt of my own kill. Now, that is fun!

As you can see, I feel like the Lord of the Manor, nay, like the King of the World, whilst lying on the memory foam cored furry goodness! Ah, I am regal!
Trouble is, when I was sleeping, Larry 'Bad Ass Attitude' Lamb crept up on me and totally pushed me off my bed. That dented my hunter's pride somewhat....

Because of my bad back, the evil vet decided to only allow me very short walks and only on the condition that I drag STAFF on some kind of attachment behind me. I got quite bored with that. So, I started to do a bit of dressing up. Here I am giving my best 'Don the Reindeer' impression. Do you think we look alike? Maybe dogs start looking like their toys? That would be baaaaad. But not as baaaad as if I started looking like the STAFF.
And this is my favourite. Apparently, I look like Hugh Heffner. Cool, now where's my bunnies?