Wednesday, 26 December 2007

Across the Windy Moors on Christmas Day - or A Reality Check

Hmm, I am not sure whether I spoke too soon when I praised Christmas. Perhaps my enthusiasm was too much based on cozy and romantic images I saw in the media and not enough adjusted for those masters of crazy and stupid, aka the STAFF. I thought we'd wake up late, go downstairs, find presents, pork pies and sherry. Unwrap stuff, eat. Eat some more. And basically continue eating until luncheon time, when we'd eat until it was time for dinner.

I should have known the STAFF would have other ideas. The alarm goes off before sunrise (who, I asks you, sets an alarm on Christmas day?), and then they start packing our hiking gear. Uh oh, I thought. What about a lie-in? Pork pies? Presents?
See what I got instead! A day out on Stanton moor in the Peak District! That's not what I anticipated - and there were certainly no pork pies.

And then the STAFF made me pose in the Nine Ladies Stone circle. Oooh, Nine Ladies and One Weimy, they crooned. The feeble fools. They are not funny! Gosh, this is sooo embarrassing.

As always, they managed to entice me along the route by hypnotising me with biscuits. As you can see I am totally spellbound. I am sure it is not legal. I will find out about that.

I feel a little better now that we are home and I have been issued with luncheon. Very nice stuff from a tin. Now, if I get some dinner in addition to that, it could be a great Christmas day after all!

Let's keep our paws crossed and hope for the best as we relax in front of the radiator.

Tuesday, 25 December 2007

Merry Christmas everyone

Bah Humbug!? No way! What's not to like about Christmas?

A time full of yuletide joy, the potential for snacks, mulled wine, carols and (edible!) tree decorations. Lots of time spent with the STAFF, frolicking about in the hills and in woods. And Christmas dinner! Not just the dried biscuits I normally get, but tinned food of lamb and tapioca. Yum!

Pity it is only once a year!

I am feeling quite magnanimous. I might even get the STAFF a small present, if I find something suitable on the walk tomorrow.

I hope you all have a very Happy Holiday!

Friday, 21 December 2007

Hip Hip Hooray

Happy birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday, dear Gerlinde!
Happy Birthday to you!
Hip hip - hooray!

Gerlinde, sorry I cannot join you for a nice Hirnderl, Luengerl, Wuersterl feast, but I will be having a glass of champagne to toast you on your special day! Well, if the STAFF leave me any (you know what they are like about giving me good stuff...). I hope you have a super day and a super year!

Please send my regards to your lovely cats also. I am sure that you look after them very well. Not a luxury all of us have!

Bye and Cheers! With lots of love,


Sunday, 9 December 2007

Pssst....The STAFF have gone crazy.

So, remember how I said that I kinda like going to Bestwood. I should have been more cautious about who I said it to... The STAFF, not known for their sense (common or otherwise) never ever do anything in moderation. So, they have taken me on a forced march around Bestwood everyday last week. I mean, Come On! It's miles! And it is so exciting that I cannot just walk calmly next to them. I have to charge. I wonder whether they are doing it to escape the OAPs bacon gifts on our ususal round? Hmmm, that would be cruel. On the upside, I get more food. On the downside, I burn it all off. Anyway, I am completely knackered!
Thankfully this weekend the weather's been awful again. On the plus side it meant a shorter trip on Saturday and no hanging around whilst they prance about with the camera. On the downside, this was because it was raining so much it was like having a shower (they did remember my new and rather fetching coat, so I was mainly dry; I'll show you a picture sometime soon).
I have attached a picture of me jumping for joy when I realised that today we were just going on a reasonable stroll by the river. Phew, with that and a bit of sleep I can face the hardships of next week. I still hope that it is just a phase the STAFF are going through and that we will return to a more sedate, bacon eating life style. But seeing the determined glint in their eyes makes me worry a lot...

PS: As I was saying I am sooooo tired I can't even stay awake long enough to tell you... tell you... something...zzz....zzz....zzz

Sunday, 2 December 2007

Rainy days and Sundays - don't get me down...

We have returned from our trip to Clumber National Park and I am now happily stretched out on the sofa by the hot fire. Aaahhh...toasty. Where was I? Oh, yes. You may remember that the STAFF gave me hypothermia, etc etc on our last rainy trip out because they left my coat in the car. They are such wii-s (well-intentioned idiots). Anyway, today is really rather miserable, wet and rainy, but I cannot deny that I had a lot of fun. And stayed nice and toasty in my coat.

The STAFF did lose all the points gained by the fun trip by totally forgetting (again!) to get my orders from the Cafe when we stopped for refreshments. They got cups of tea, or whatever. But where was my roast chicken, bacon butty, roast beef with chips? Where I ask you? Pfff.

I'm not a couch potato! I am the Silver Arrow!

Some unkind people have suggested that I am a couch potato with a touch of hypochondria. How rude! It is true that due to the STAFFs' shortcomings, which I cannot avoid detailing on these pages, I am often unwell.
Lately the STAFF are annoyed when we go on our regular morning rounds, because some nice people leave out bacon rind for me. The STAFF don't want me to have it. They pretend it is because they buy me this hypo-hypo-superduper-hypoallergenic astronaut food from the vets which is nice and gentle on my tummy. And THEY claim that me eating bacon rinds rather defeats the purpose of this expense, because I might end up with a sore tummy anyway, blablabla... Why don't THEY just admit it? THEY are jealous because I have secret admirers who give me lurvely gifts of bacon and such and noone wants to give THEM anything. I am not surprised, THEY are ever so grouchy.

Anyway, on those nasty couch potato rumours (just because a guy likes relaxing on the sofa, does not make him lazy!), I wanted to show all you doubters some evidence that when the mood takes me, I can move faster than the naked eye can see, faster than lightning, faster than light itself. Anyway, my natural modesty prevails, but I can tell you that this photo was taken with specialist equipment, otherwise I wouldn't even be in it. So there!