Sunday, 2 December 2007

Rainy days and Sundays - don't get me down...

We have returned from our trip to Clumber National Park and I am now happily stretched out on the sofa by the hot fire. Aaahhh...toasty. Where was I? Oh, yes. You may remember that the STAFF gave me hypothermia, etc etc on our last rainy trip out because they left my coat in the car. They are such wii-s (well-intentioned idiots). Anyway, today is really rather miserable, wet and rainy, but I cannot deny that I had a lot of fun. And stayed nice and toasty in my coat.

The STAFF did lose all the points gained by the fun trip by totally forgetting (again!) to get my orders from the Cafe when we stopped for refreshments. They got cups of tea, or whatever. But where was my roast chicken, bacon butty, roast beef with chips? Where I ask you? Pfff.


KreativeMix said...

sounds like a relaxing and yummy time :-)........ glad you liked the song.... i like opera too :-)

Gerlinde said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gerlinde said...

Dear handsome Sir Silver Arrow!
If you just knew what kind of a week I had, you would grab your coat and knightly dash to rescue(*) me.
Not only was I heartbroken about your negative reply to my application, but then, the next day, a drill machine maliciously assaulted me. Frankly, it does get boring when you have to drill so many holes for so many plugs, so I'm not at all to blame for dozing off and not looking anymore at what I was doing after the second or third. Oh, well.
I know this doesn't compare with the hardships the STAFF puts you through.
Why did you wish to eat a nut cake anyway? And by saying they "gave" you a little piece, I suppose you mean they intentionally left it in a cookie jar that any tall dog could push from the kitchen window sill?
Anyway, I do have to take up the cudgels for the STAFF about one point, they are not stingy! They gave me as much room temperatured beer as I wanted! It was pure modesty that I didn't ask for more than one.
Yours admiringly,
(*) "rescuing" would be: pitying, bringing chilled beers and bottles of hot water to the sofa, and some more pitying

Gerlinde said...

PS - above, me myself deleted my own post! I didn't know one could do that. I was scared first that I deleted the whole website.

Otto - Sir Silver Arrow said...

Gerlinde, you poor dear! What did the drill do to you? I implore you to be more careful in future!

I am so embarrassed that the STAFF served you warm beer. I know it is customary in England, but really they should know better! I hope you won't think any less of me, just because THEY are such nincompoops.
On the nut cake front, no really, they gave it to me, as I was lying on my beanbed, in front of the radiator, minding my own business. Well, they let one of my dinner guests (everybody people come to see me and not them....) give me a piece. And really they should know better!

But, for a rare moment I feel concern about someone other than me, Gerlinde, tell me, what happened to you and the drill?

Yours, filled with sympathy, concern and care


Gerlinde said...

Dear Otto,

thank you for your consoling words. I feel much better already!
About that drill accident, it's just a nice, clean, and well-defined cut! Almost healed already. I would like to promise to be more careful. But honestly I was as careful as can be! I held the drill safely with chin and shoulder, and operated it with the right hand, while operating the vacuum cleaner with the knees and left hand. Just as any sensible person would do. Ask the STAFF!

About that beer, it wasn't warm, honestly, it was exactly room temperature! I'd even say, perfectly nice basement temperature! And "nincompoop" sounds very interesting, is it something you can have as a snack along with beer? Why didn't they give me any?

That reminds me, about that bull's "pizzle" you had, even though your STAFF refuse to translate, I'm positive if the bull had only one of it, and it was precious, it must have been his brain! No doubt about that.

Anyway, speaking about STAFF, you won't believe what I just heard. I had a chat with someone who is a personal assistant to a tall and handsome dog, too, just like your STAFF. And she said (picture this!) that dogs would sometimes actually deliberately and intentionally cultivate coughing, choking from quadruple pneumonia bronchitis, and all sorts of things like that, just to train their STAFF.
Could that possibly be true???

Yours, faithfully pondering,

Otto the Weimaraner said...

Gerlinde, poor dear! Really, do be careful when you use a drill next time! Did you put a fun coloured bandage on the cut to stop you from chewing it?
I honestly cannot say how the STAFF operate things like the drill and such. I never watch. Work is just so, so, well, common. I am sorry to hear that you have to engage in such activities. I can tell you that the drill in this house is normally associated with heated tempers. I think it is because STAFF 1 is up balancing on a ladder whilst operating the drill, and STAFF 2 has to hold the ladder in place. Trouble is that STAFF 2 has the attention span of a puppy with ADHD and forgets what they were doing and just wanders off to do something more interesting ("ooh, shiny things" - we hear them say). And then you hear a loud scream from STAFF 1, either (a) just before a loud crash or (b) after a loud crash. Honestly, THEY are so embarrassing...

Gerlinde, only my pity for your current injured condition has prevented me from mentioning this before. But honestly, dear. WHO'S BLOODY SIDE ARE YOU ON? Why would you, in a public forum (!) mention things like tactical quadruple pneumonias which any honest guy could use a liiittle bit to his advantage. Huh?! I mean, just because it is cured by 5 blankets, lying on the sofa, lots of attention, a roaring fire and plenty of grub, does not mean that it was not real. I hope that you will disabuse your friend of any funny notions and that she will continue to be a efficient and caring PA to her charge.

Yours, slightly disappointed and worried,


PS: So warm beer is not as nice as cold beer?

The STAFF said...

Gerlinde, we couldn't help but see you comments and have to say very interesting indeed. So, when Otto claims that he has quadruple bilateral pneumonia bronchitis brought on by our lack of care and threatens to sue us for all we have, he may just be exaggareating slightly?
Hmm, I think we will need to have a word with him. And perhaps we could exchange some tips with your friend. Is she also looking after a demanding Weimaraner?

Otto the Weimaraner said...

See, Gerlinde, I told you this would happen!

PS: Pizzle, in a very roundabout way, could be called the brain of a bull.

Gerlinde said...

Dear Otto,

*sob* You do me wrong!
So you DID play the quadruple pneumonia trick on them??? How could I have known? Innocence is my second name. I thought your pneumonia was only double!
loyal greetings,
yours, Gerlinde

Gerlinde said...


See, umm, well... it's like this: What my devoted PA friend said goes for every dog except Weimaraners.
You can't take a Weimaraner's quadruple bilateral pneumonia bronchitis serious enough! Honestly.

My friend's dog is a rescue dog from Romania, and he is tall (although not as tall as Otto) and slender, and cream-colored with one brown and one blue eye. And his manners are very nice, even more when considering the hard start he had, and his young age. Very likeable!

Yours, Gerlinde

Otti said...

Gerlinde, not to worry! How could I be cross with you when you are such a charming friend. By the way, when I come to Bavaria, will you give me lots and lots and lots of sausages? But, shhh, mumstheword, the STAFF need not know.

I will write more soon, but right now I am waiting for my dinner and if I don't watch them, they might not give me anything, ever!

Yours, Otto

Gerlinde said...

Dear Otto,

Loooots and lots of sausages, and hirnderl, hueferl, luengerl and zuengerl! As much as you want!
Shhh, we won't tell STAFF a word. And in case there shall be any suspicious odours (I remember hearing something about food and certain evaporations from the digestion system), by a lucky coincidence ,) I happen to have looots and lots of japanese incense coils in the house! Gee! What a perfect plan.

So you are back in town from a holiday, it seems?

yours, Gerlinde
PS - I think serving warm beer is against the Bavarian constitution.
PPS - the cats say they know just e-x-a-c-t-l-y what you mean. They say, if they wouldn't watch me very closely each morning, yell at me, and drop cans with tomato and sweet corn from the fridge top onto my bare toes, I would surely never-ever give them breakfast. Same goes for dinner of course. It's such a drag, they say, keeping things running!

The STAFF said...

Dear Gerlinde,

Otto tells us that serving warm beer is against the Bavarian constitution. In the absence of evidence to the contrary we will accept this. However, Bavarian laws apply in Bavaria only, and we were therefore well within our rights to serve you warmish beer. Serving warm beer is, after all, an English tradition.

Otto is sorry that he cannot write more, but we got his food supplies for xmas and he is lying in front of them, ever hopeful. Oh dear...