swimming - the fountain of youth!

So, I've been swimming a few times now. And it is great! A brisk swim against the most powerful jet streams you can imagine! Then the most sensational relaxation in the hot tub. Quick shower and rub down. Tuck shop and home. I'm going every week now and I am absolutely loving it!

I have not felt so good in years! My legs don't ache. And my muscles bulge. I could move mountains! I could fell trees with my bare paws and get me some squirrel snacks. I could run a marathon. Twice. In one day. I could do anything I wanted to! 

Right now, though, I am having a snooze with my buddy Larry Lamb. 

You would, too, if you could. Wouldn't you?

Tomorrow, I'll be ready for action again. Life, I am telling you, is good. 

hydrotherapy spa treatment...aaaah...jacuzzi

As you know I have been spraining my paws a lot. No wonder, what with the STAFF forcing me to run through the woods every morning. Well, force is maybe too harsh a term. I admit that I do enjoy the woods, unless, that is, I sprain my paw.  Anyway, I  digress. 

So, the STAFF have decided to do something sensible and have started taking me to get hydrotherapy. We go to this really swish place - it has really nice staff and is very hygienic: the facilities are for clean canines only. No smelly bipeds. 

Aaaah, I do enjoy me a trip to the spa. I am not sure why I need the orange jacket. I am a fantastic swimmer! I could keep going for hours, nay days, weeks. But rules are rules and I put it on. 

And before I could even say 'What ho, my man!', I had been lifted into the pool. And off we went! Paddle, paddle, spread the toes, kick the legs, splash, splash, splash, splash. Wow, I did not realise that this would be such hard work. After what felt like hours, they tried to tell me I had been swimming for 5 minutes. What? Well, 5 minutes in Weimaraner time is probably like 5 hours STAFF time. 

 

Anyway, think 5 minutes of swimming doesn't sound like much? Well, go on, try it! Be my guest (find your own pool though!). But no breaks, mind. No pauses. No hanging on to the side. No, no, no! And no widdling in the pool! A, because it's gross and B, it costs £20 extra.

I enjoyed having a rest. Especially with my new friend Steve who knows how to put you at ease and all. 

And then more swimming. Another full five minutes! I have to admit to a little bit of puff-cheekedness on that second round. E.x.h.a.u.s.t.i.n.g.!

And after all that exertion, my fair and just reward! The hot jacuzzi! 

Sure, getting in and out on the harness-hoist is not great.

But so totally worth it when you get in! Ah, hot water. Massaging you. Soothing your tired limbs. I could stay in here for hours. In fact, I have put a hot tub on my, as ever modest and reasonable, wish list. I hope the STAFF are not too tight-fisted! And I sincerely hope that THEY don't think I would let THEM share my hot tub!

After the hot tub I feel so relaxed that even the b.a.t.h. is not all that bad. 

Nor that big hot air dryer thing. Makes me go all fluffy and such.

And then off to the tuck shop for a well-earned snack! Yummy!

And after all that, I can just about manage to climb on the sofa, find a comfy, sunny spot and 3, 2, 1, zzzzzzz.....zzzzzz.....zzzzzz

My whole body feels all relaxed and supple and nimble and strong. I love it! I'm going again next week. This time I'll take my own cash, and when the STAFF aren't looking, I'll get one (or two) of everything from the tuck shop. 

I think I'll even go back when my paws are fine again. It is just soooo much fun!

swimming is tiring and makes hungry!

I went for my first trip to the  hydrotherapy pool today - for my iffy paws. Wow it was tiring.As you can imagine, these paws can shift quite a bit of water! And shift water they did!
But it was all rather tiring. The hoist, the swimming, the jacuzzi (!), the shower and the blow-drying. All a bit scary, you know. My bath assistants were super nice though. So that was good. 

But it was  a lot of work and I am still waiting for my dinner. 

I am not sure yet what to make of it all. Right now, I am going to have a snooze. 

I'm going again next week - maybe I'll take some pictures then. 

Please tell the STAFF that I feel fine!

So, back to the vets to check out the lump in my leg. Apparently it is just a sprained muscle. I'm sure I told you! In any case, I feel just fine, and would be quite happy to go running again. Honestly! All this sitting around is making me feel stir-crazy... but the vet convinced the STAFF that I should be rested more. I can't take it anymore! I miss the woods. The smells. The freedom!

The only slight sliver of hope is that I will start going swimming in a couple of weeks, some kind of hydrotherapy. I imagine it is going to be exactly like the Walchensee. 

Ah, memories of happier days...

The STAFF showed me some details of the place on the interweb, but there is no picture of the actual lake I'll get to swim in. No doubt it is just an oversight! And look at that poor fellow in the hoist. Thankfully this has nothing to do with me...Phew!

keep on running -- up and down the hills -- yeah!

I told you I would not be kept from the best woods for long! Last week the STAFF got themselves some running shoes (from my cash!), and a new lead for me which allows me 5 glorious meters of freedom, and now, morning and evening we run. Mornings in the best woods and evenings around our home territory. I say run, but really it is just the STAFF huffing and puffing and me at a slow trot. As you can see, I don't get tired at all! Certainly I would not be falling asleep sitting upright on the sofa. No, not this Weimy.

Where was I? Oh, yes, so, to get my paw good and strong and stop it from getting sprained again, the v.e.t. - cat from hell she is - suggested taking me on two super dull walks around the block a day. No more than 5 minutes, she hissed, for the next 109 years! Always on the lead! Well, I can tell you that gave me a lot of spare energy which I got rid off by charging up and down and up and down the stairs, skating on the wooden floors, charge-jumping the sofa... etc... you name it, I did it. It didn't take that long for the STAFF to get the message and that's when THEY got themselves running shoes and off we went. On the lead, but still. Not too shabby this new rehab programme for my paw. Not too shabby at all!

Sometimes the STAFF are good to me. And bless THEM, THEY look tired all the time now - from just a little bit of running, I ask you! - and sometimes just fall asleep on the sofa. I suppose THEY are just not as fit as I am...

PS: On reflection, having spent most of the day sunbathing, and, er, snoozing in a dozing fashion for, er, a short while, I might have to admit that I am perhaps a leeeetle bit tired myself. And I don't mind resting my paws for a few more hours.

After all, wherever I lay my head, that's my home ¹. 

¹ Conditional upon basic needs² having been met.

² Basics needs include, but are not limited to: a run in the woods, cuddles, food, something soft to lie on, a warm spot by direct heat source (sun or radiator), STAFF available upon request.

Help! I am under house (ar)rest!

The traitor STAFF dragged me to the v.e.t.s -- can a guy not limp in peace for a few days? Huh? Anyway, the v.e.t. - demon of the dark abyss she is - told the STAFF not to take me out for about 4 weeks or so. 4 weeks! Do you know how long that is in dog years? 109 years! Possibly more.

I am already plotting a dastardly plan of how to shorten this rest time. 109 years for a bit of a sprained paw? Pah! 

In 3 easy steps I'll be back to the best woods. Step 1. Look depressed. Step 2. Add some heavy sighing. Step 3. Throw up. Step 3, incidentally, should be quite easy right now. On of the last trips to the best wood I found a very aromatic mole - couldn't have  been dead for that long. So, I dug it up and ate it, natch! Little bugger didn't want to stay down though. The STAFF took a photo when it came back out, but they won't let me post it here. Squeamish like a kitten, I say! Anyway, the old tummy is still a bit iffy after that. 

It'll have to wait until the sun's gone down to start on Step 1. I cannot quite manage a miserable expression when I am this hot and, frankly, happy.

Don't worry, I'll get there. And I will keep you posted!

Setting the record straight!

Look, I'll show you my nicely fixed tooth. See the canine, looking strangely flat? That's the one I had fixed. Now it has a nice filling and rubber reinforcing. Painfree and all ready for action! I'm quite glad that I had that operation.

Anyway, I spent all day yesterday relaxing and getting rid off that anaesthesia hangover. I tried all my favourite places in the sun, on the rugs, the sofa, my bean bed, curled in a ball, stretched out on my side, rolled on my back. You name it, I relaxed in it.

And now it is time to let the STAFF know a few things. THEY had been insinuating for some time that I was getting old and had slowed down. Now, I know that THEY are not blessed with the greatest of intellects, but surely even THEY should be able to work out that a guy whose got a constant toothache is just not up to running around, hunting, barking, snuggling on the sofa, etc. 

THEY had been kidding themselves that I was all super duper obedience Weimaraner now. Pah! THEY'll soon see... I am back! I am ready for action! I am full of energy! 

You should have seen THEIR worried little faces this morning when I insisted, quite forcefully, that we get up early and for my walk and I made them go an extra long round.

THEY said I was getting old? Hah! Let's see whether THEY'll be able to keep up with me!

I'll keep you posted.

Root canal treatment: Success!

I am just glad it's all behind me now. It started with a discoloured canine, which the STAFF spotted when we got back from holiday in August. The vets here gave me a general anaesthetic, took some x-rays, but didn't see anything wrong with it. 

But, they did send the x-ray to a specialist veterinary dentist, and he said it was non-vital pulp damage and that my tooth would die slowly and it would have to come out or I'd need root canal treatment. 

Not good!

We went yesterday to have it done. But we had to drive all the way to Surrey to get to see Norman Johnstone of dentalVets. I hate saying it, but he's a really nice guy! Apparently, our normal vets have me down as a problem case, but Norman was such an easy going chap, I let him look at my teeth and all, no growling. Now, there was someone with a good barnside manner! I wasn't pleased when he explained the procedure in detail to the STAFF, but I focussed on the bit where he said I'd be much better after having it done. 

The STAFF callously left me there and went somewhere. Probably without a care in the world. I have already marked them down for punishment for that offense. Don't worry. Where was I? Oh, yes. THEY left me, and then I had to wait ages, because a big bull mastiff was having his op first. Apparently it was a case of poking him with tranquilizers from a distance, do the surgery as quick as possible and then get rid of him before he comes around again. And our vets think that I am a problem case? Maybe I should make introductions between them and Bully Mastiff?

Once I went under it was all a bit of a blur. I hear that 4mm thin wires drilled out the pulp and special American slow drills were needed to get around an obstruction. But I was not listening to all that. Made me feel queasy...

The upshot is, my canine is shorter, with a nice solid filling, some rubber filling in the pulp canal and much less pain. 

Now, if you excuse me, I didn't get much food yesterday, so I have a busy day of eating ahead of me!

Oh, and the vet has some nice pictures of my tooth, which he will send to the STAFF. I'll post them here once I have them. 

But this pup has no dodgy pulp any more and is ready to rumble!

After a few hours of rest...

This Pup has Pulp Damage

Oh dear, the vets just rang the STAFF (and the fools picked up! Why do we have caller ID, I ask you?). Apparently the vet sent my x-rays to a specialist who worked out that not all is well with my canine: I have pulp damage. There's two options: take the tooth out, or have a root canal filling and keep the tooth. I made it very clear to the STAFF that I would rather keep the tooth; which does not mean that I want anything done to any of the roots or canals anywhere. 

But you have to be pragmatic about these things and so we will be off to the specialist veterinary dentist soon. 

What a saga!

PS: Even more woes and misery!

I thought I'd better give an update on my poorly paw (see my last post).

I was just nicely taken off that bandage to treat my paw with ancient Weimaraner medicinal wisdom Step 2 (again), when the STAFF overpowered me and put a silly, silvery boot on me!

Why? Now, I really cannot apply my Weimaraner medical treatment! Is there no end to the mean things the STAFF will do? Do they lack any sense at all?? How can I chew my foot like this, I ask you!

I am pondering these questions, lying on my own sofa in my own private bachelor pad. And I have a mind to put the do not disturb sign up.

I am appealing to you, dear reader: please have a word with the STAFF. Make them see sense!

My woes continue...

Pfff, as if a bad tummy from being force-fed items of clothing (see my earlier post) was not bad enough. Now the STAFF have really done it.

There I was carefully chasing a squirrel. As you would. Full speed, through brambles, tree stumps, undergrowth, spiky conkers and whatnot. Anyway, as I said, carefully chasing a squirrel and I must have grazed my paw somewhat.

Now, I treat all grazes the same. Ancient Weimaraner medicinal wisdom. But I don't mind sharing it with you.

1. Lick the graze for a few hours (take no breaks)
   
2. when the skin begins to soften, start biting the area (carefully and deliberately)
   
3. note how the graze is now nice and visible and the skin begins to detach from your paw
   
4. repeat Steps 1 - 3 until you are too tired
   
5. take a nap and start again
   
6. now you'll note a nice big sore area
   
7. start limping and look sorry for yourself

Works every time. Or used to work should I say. Look at what the STAFF did to my poor paw. It is never going to heal like that! How can I lick it? How can I bite it?! Just as soon as I have finished dozing in the sun I will take that stupid thing of. Just a couple more minutes....

Note from STAFF: As soon as you notice the execution of Step 1 of ancient Weimaraner medicinal Wisdom, put on a bandage. Do not delay, or a minor scratch will turn into a big sore paw! Sometimes we do know best.