Do you see it? Bold as anything - right up a tree. Shocking. I was just patrolling the garden, look up and there it sat. I was lost for words. The impertinent intruder. The STAFF thought it was all very cute. The naive fools.
Of course I won the staring match and the cat scrambled off. Still, the cheek of it.
Now I check every hour whether the cat is back. I am very dedicated and even check at night The STAFF are not always very quick letting me out on my "midnight to dawn"- shift. I'll have to work on the frequency and volume of my whine.
Cows. The bane of our Peak District hikes. They just don't like me. Once I got chased by them, which was scary. Now the STAFF avoid them, and sometimes we have to walk really long detours to get around them.
Now a nice little lamb. Yum! I would like me one of these. But I always have to have the STAFF on a lead when there's sheep about. Don't know why. And they are too heavy to drag behind when going after a juicy lamb. I know, I tried. Sometimes the STAFF are just annoying!
In any case, I was not going to smile when they had made me walk all the way up the hill. There was no food up here and then I just had to walk all the way down again. Now, if I'd had a lamb, I might have felt more enthusiastic about it...
I just noticed that the STAFF have got out the Lake District maps. This can only mean that we are going on holiday again soon. Excellent! I went to the Lakes in June and had a fab time. Lots of paddling. No cows (they don't like me). Lots of walking. And quality time to spend with the STAFF. I just hope Oma comes along. She's related to the STAFF somehow. She thinks they don't feed me enough (I couldn't agree more!) and gives me extras. Also, she strokes me for hours. Oma is the best!
I just hope they won't tire me out too much again. When I went with Oma and the STAFF to the Yorkshire Dales they just went walking all the time. I feel asleep over my dinner one evening, and my head dropped into my bowl. How embarrassing! I only hope that no one saw...
Dried lung! It's the best. Well, these are just fond memories, because I'm not allowed snacks any more. It always tasted best when eaten on the nice white rug. The STAFF recently changed it for a rather busily patterned one. I have to remember asking them why.
Anyway, all this food trouble is probably from changing homes and staff when I was 5 years old. Things hadn't been going well for some time in my old home. The staff then seemed to have no time for me. I didn't go on any walks, and I put on lots of weight. Naturally, I was not in a good mood, and then they told me off for it. Still, it was a shock when the new STAFF arrived one day and just took me with them. I made it very clear to them that I did not really want to stay and actually rather wanted to go back. But they took no notice. And they seemed strict. I was not allowed on the sofa. Or upstairs. No growling or snarling at them. It was really tough. Of course they didn't really know how to treat me then. I have trained them up nicely now: a bed in every room, my own sofa, plenty of walks. But my tummy never really recovered from the stress.
The STAFF spend so much of their spare time online, I wanted to see what this is all about. I had a nice walk this morning (Squirrel count 3), a nice breakfast (same as every meal - just how I like it) and now the sun's up and I'm relaxing on my sofa in the bay window.
The STAFF had been talking about a blog for some time. They wanted to share their experience of adopting a Weimaraner as a rescue dog (whatever that means). But I know that they'll never get their act together. I keep them far too busy for that. If you want a job done properly, you have to do it yourself.
Anyway, I need a nap now. I'd better see whether any STAFF are around to fluff my blankets.