Wednesday, 31 December 2008

enjoying retirement


as you know I have worked very hard looking after two well-meaning, but often useless, members of STAFF. And, frankly, I had enough! All the hard work, the stress of looking after them, making sure they were safe. Checking on all visitors. A never-ending list of tasks and duties. When was a guy ever given the chance to relax?
So, I said to myself: enough is enough. But how could I communicate this idea to the STAFF? (It's not easy getting stuff through to them...). Well, I lucked out when I saw that this nice chap,  who has his own tv show about rehabilitating useless dog staff 'the Dog Whisperer", has also written a book. Quick as a flash I was on amazon.co.uk and ordered the STAFF a copy for xmas. They took it very well, and read it aloud to one another. I was nodding along in the background. The man, Cesar Milan, makes so much sense. He knows all about how to turn useless STAFF into good STAFF. 
And now the STAFF have finally taken on board that they are meant to look after me and not the other way around! Now, I have retired from pack leadership and STAFF management. My BP has dropped, my stress levels are sinking. I am relaxed. I am happy. I am carefree. I am having the time of my life! 

We are all one big, happy, calm family now. Having lots of fun!


6 comments:

Gerlinde said...

Dear Otto,

happy new year!
I am impressed at your diplomatic skills. Though one might wonder how long your leisure time will last. I am sure there is no lack of good will on the STAFF's side, but haven't they proven often enough to be hopelessly dependant? Dou you think they will manage without your guidance?
How did they get through the fireworks by the way?

Yours,
Gerlinde

Otto, Packleader (Rtd.) said...

Gerlinde,

happy new year!

As always you hit the nail right on the head! Bam!
I had a good chuckle when I read your comments about the STAFF being dependant. And THEN I showed the comments to the STAFF and had a REALLY loud chuckle when I saw their shamefaced expression that screamed : "We have been found out! aaaaah". Hihi. Still makes me giggle.

Fireworks were fine. The STAFF have moved some furniture around and now we all sleep on the first floor. Their bed is bigger, but mine is better (and right by a radiator, of course!). I spent New Year's Eve in their bed. To protect them, you know. Someone was shaking with fear - not sure who - when the fireworks went off. But, having read in the book on packleadership to ignore fear, I paid none of this any attention and after a while we all went to sleep. And once I had stretched out to maximum length and width I was verrry comfortable and sleeping deeply.
All in all, no problem.

Anyway, so far the STAFF are still doing ok and we go on long walks in the morning and evening. THEY are now too tired to get stupid ideas! Phew...

I hope you are keeping well?

Schnuff

Gerlinde said...

Dear Schnuff,

you are so selfless! I wish the cats were more like you. You could just have slept in that fine bed by the radiator, but no, instead, you cramped up with the STAFF in theirs, just to make them feel better.
Oh, why do I have to put up with two tyrannish little maniacs, and not a gentle, tall, understanding pal like you.
Actually, now that it's -22°C outside, and I go to bed with a wool pullover and gloves on (you should try that, too, it keeps your paws nice and soft!), the cats insist on sleeping on the radiator. They said I can use their bottle of hot water though, oh well, I guess that's kind of nice...

say Hi to the STAFF and keep on the retiring!
Gerlinde

Otto the Weimaraner said...

Oh My God Gerlinde!

- (minus!) 22!? How do you survive?
Surely you are not going outside in such ghastly conditions? Can you not go lie on the radiators with your cats?
I am feeling a little chilly just thinking about those kind of temperatures.

Sending you much sympathy,

Schnuffi (brrrr)

Ruben von Zwack said...

Otto,

if the STAFF moved to the first floor, does this mean there is a personal Spa for you on the upper floor now?

About that radiator, no way she could lie on it with us. Don't get her into any crazy ideas! Her shivering would be so inconvenient.
Look, she could just grow herself a decent fur if it was as bad as she says. People would look much better with fur anyway.

Lately, I can relate more than ever to all the stress you have from looking after your STAFF. One is a full time job already, and you my poor friend have TWO of them!
For example, the other day, Gerlinde forgot to do our loo. I reminded her, that is to say, I peed in her handbag. What would she do without me?
But believe it or not, she grabbed the handbag, stuffed sandwiches and tea in, and ran off to a place she calls "work" (whatever that is), so we still had to suffer the smelly loo for a whole day. How much more can a responsible cat do?
But when she came home in the evening, she instantly did the loo, and gave us thankful looks, mumbling something (praise, I'm sure) all the while.

Too bad though I've never seen the handbag again. It was quite comfy.

Have you eaten anything interesting in the meantime, by the way?

yours, Ruben

Otto the Weimaraner said...

Dear Ruben,

what an excellent idea! Leaving a message in Gerlinde's handbag where she was sure to find it!
And I am sure she was thinking of you as she was eating her lunch!
I might use that messaging system myself if and when the opportunity arises.

You are right, of course. Sharing radiators is not a good thing. You want all that nice heat for yourself until your fur is almost sizzling.

The SPA upstairs... Hmm, you know the STAFF. How do you think they got the rooms downstairs so nice and empty? .... That's right! Upstairs is full of stuff! And not very warm. So, I've not really been to look around.

I have not had any exciting snacks lately. Found some toast yesterday, but that was it really. With the STAFF implementing this new regime I don't get to eat all the things I find any more. Unfair, really!