Wednesday, 29 October 2008

aaaaahhh....I'm wasting away!

The STAFF dragged me to the vets today. I could say a lot about that, but I have bigger fish to fry!I hopped on the scales today and I am a vanishingly small 34.8kg. When I arrived with the STAFF 4 years ago I was a strapping lad weighing 47.5kg. Perhaps a leeeetle on the heavy side. It was quite hard to walk up hills, or down hills, and jump, or run etc. and I did look like a fat labrador, but, hey, that's all besides the point because I  was warm! I am not sure what THEY are playing at, but I was pleased to hear the vet say that I looked muscly and healthy and should not lose any more weight. Perhaps I should have asked to get that very important point in writing? 

And, to be frank, and you know I am, there's  something that really bug me:
  • Everything is at least 1 hour late! It started on Sunday. We were an hour late for the morning walk, and an hour late for the evening walk. And it has continued like that ever since. I asked the STAFF about this. Repeatedly. THEY say it is some kind of Daylight Saving Time. I think that's just an excuse. But whatever it is, it really winds me up! I like knowing what is going to happen when. I'll continue to remind them that I want to go out when it feels like the right time, no matter what the clocks say. 
Why do I even stay with them, you might, quite rightly, ask? Well, in THEIR madness there appears to be some good stuff. On very rare occasions. And this is one of them. The STAFF put me through some really shocking training when we were in the Bavarian mountains over the summer. There was BIG, LOUD thunderstorms every afternoon, lasting most of the night. We were in a tent, which is clearly not safe in a thunderstorm, so I insisted that everyone sleeps in the car during the storm. I, for one, was very comfortable. But one night, the storm started after we had gone to bed in the tent. I tried to wake the STAFF, so that we could urgently evacuate to the car, but they were out like logs! Nothing I did woke them up. In the end, I fell asleep, curled up against them. And we all slept through the storm, thundering and lightning right over our heads. Shocking stuff. But somehow it really helps me with all the fireworks now. What's a bit of noise like that after you have braved the eye of the storm?

In a nutshell, my advice to you: don't leave the STAFF in charge of how much food you'll get, or you could find yourself all muscly and toned like me. And who would want that? Don't change the clocks unless you enjoy the sound of whining for an hour in the morning and the evening. Sleep in the eye of the storm, get a dap diffuser (smells like mummy), and relax during fireworks.
And, lastly, don't tangle up your legs like this if you want to be ready to "greet" the postie. I don't want to go into details, but it could be embarrassing...

No comments: