Monday, 2 June 2008

Life's a beach!

The STAFF and I took a well-earned short break over the Bank Holiday weekend. THEY said they would take me to some sandy beach paradise, and I was a little surprised when I saw us head in the Newcastle direction. But, I thought to myself, let's wait and see, it might be ok after all!

After only 3 1/2 hours in the car we were there. It used to take us 4 1/2 hours, because the STAFF like getting lost. Thankfully, they listened to my advice and bought a satnav system. I mean, I am NOT going to drive thousands of kilometers through Germany and Austria with them when THEY cannot even find the way from here to there or anywhere. Pfff - not me!

Anyway, the beach trip was really rather a lot of fun! I cannot deny it! We went 3 times in 2 days. Not too shabby a rate at all!
It was really early in the morning and the STAFF and I went to Tynemouth Longsands, and it was well nice. Lots of sand. And quite a bit of water. And, as always, the possibility that a snack or Eau de Merde might have washed up on the shore.

I left some footprints in the sand to scare the more gullible beachwalkers. Looks like a big bear, don't you think?
The most dangerous episode was, of course, related to the STAFF and their total lack of health and safety awareness. Here you can see one of them rushing towards the water, and almost getting soaked! THEY can be grateful they have me! I held on to my toy with all my might and slowed them down before we got our tootsies wet! Honestly, can you believe how silly THEY are? I would never go and swim in this. And I know that I can swim! I am not so sure about the STAFF. I have never seen them swim, and I am not so confident THEY could. With the whole ungainly stumbling about on two legs, no proper traction control, no acceleration uphill, etc. Makes you worry what they'd do when they hit deep water, doesn't it. Whatever would they do without me?
In the afternoon we went to the lighthouse on St Mary's island. That was quite good fun. I got to scramble a lot on rocks above the crashing waves. The STAFF were shouting all excitedly whenever I approached the edge of the rocky island, so I assume THEY were having fun, too!

Well, anyways, that was last weekend. And I have to say that beaches are quite good fun. But, honestly, there is just no place like home, where the Best Wood is just on the doorstep!


Gerlinde said...

Dear Otto,

oh, I so envy you. Please have some compassion for me, a fischkopp stuck in the landlocked deep south!
Were you busy keeping an eye on your STAFF the whole weekend - that must be like looking after a bag of fleas! -, or did they give you some rest? By sunbathing, going to the movies or such?
By the way, I follow your advice for whiter teeth. I have to say, I am quite pleased! Just those splinters between the teeth still take getting used to.

Yours, Gerlinde

Gerlinde said...

My dear friend -

you won't guess what I saw today - a book "Hiking with Dogs in the Alps". The authors accurately list which route they recommend for which age, weight, and race of dog. And they designed the routes to be as pleasing as possible solely for - wait for it - for dogs!!!

Isn't this c-r-a-z-y?!? They talk you along a 3 hours walk - and that's just one-way - with no snack bars whatsoever on the way, but, woo-ha!, a rich population of marmots, and for refreshment, at the end of the walk, you'll find a muddy puddle.

In other words, they are clearly propagating dangerous and subversive ideas here and should be arrested.

Please don't mention this to the STAFF. They must never find out about this book. I know you'd put your own pleasure behind theirs anytime, anyplace. I'm just not so sure about THEM!!!

yours, alarmed and worried -

00770 said...

Psssst Gerlinde,

thank you my friend for the warning. I hope you got it to me in time!
Please can you send me the exact details of this monstrous title. I shall buy every available copy and hide them (some digging in the garden will be required). Under no circumstances must the STAFF find out this exists, or, GASP, get their crazy hands on it.

Please act swiftly, friend!

Yours, full of concern,