PpppppppppppppppppARCEL!

I love, love, love, love getting parcels! My good friend Sabrina in Germany heard of my difficulties with rousing lazy STAFF from THEIR slumber in the morning, getting THEM around the woods at an acceptable speed and feeling constantly hungry.

And before I knew what was happening a parcel arrived. For me!

I was trying to open it up straight away, I could smell that whatever it was, it was good!
I didn't get too far trying to gnaw it open, so I tried to get it done by kicking it. But to no avail.
Finally STAFF got to it with scissors. And we were in!
Did I mention that it smelled absolutely delicious?
I was trying to inhale the content. Yum!
And then. Succes! I was in. And I had the goods! There was coffee. Strong Italian stuff, so that I could get STAFF up in the morning. And Italian biscotti. So that I could tie one to a piece of string and coax STAFF around the woods following behind it.
But best of all. A bone. Massive. Juicy. Cow flavour. How much better can it get! With just one drawback.... it was in a ruddy plastic packet. I had to rely on STAFF to open it. Well, I say had to.... I would have quite happily eaten through the plastic, but last time I did that I felt strangely ill for a few days, so I thought I had better not chance it.
The trouble is that when you issue STAFF with even a modicum of power, THEY get so excited and all mean and make you wait. Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc. Hours passed and I was still waiting for my bone. STAFF were giddy with THEIR bit of power.

I was being super patient. I was not going to give THEM the satisfaction of knowing that I really, really wanted this bone. So, I looked at it. But nonchalantly. Tic. Toc. Tic.
My nerves were beginning to dance the famous sequence from Riverdance. But on the outside I was cool. And still I was waiting. Tic. Toc. Ti---- and then it occurred to me.... oh no! THEY probably just do not know how to get into the darn packaging. I am blighted with really rather silly STAFF.

Think of me friend, and know, I am probably still waiting for STAFF to figure out how to get into the packaging. Tic. Toc.