Sleepy Sunseeker

Went around the Best Wood this morning. Nice crisp air. Foxes and squirrels to hunt. Sticks to chase. Life was just good. And then, when we were on the way back, I said to the STAFF "Hey, let's go around again!". Now, I always say this. Every time. It's just a joke, right! And nothing ever happens. We just go home. Have breakfast. Go to work or sleep, depending on your rank. Everyone is happy. So, when I said "Hey, let's go around again", that's what I expected to happen. BUT... one of the STAFF said to the other "Hey, let's do it. Let's just go around again". Ignoring the expression on the other member of STAFF's face, and the expression on my face (which is infinitely worse to ignore, because I am Chief of STAFF) off they went. "What?", I said. I mean: "I say, WHAT?!?". But there was nothing for it. I had to go around again.
Do they have NO sense of humour, I ask you? Can a guy not make an innocent joke without being exercised to the point of exhaustion?

Anyway, when we finally got home, I insisted that the furniture be moved. After all, you have to get into the sunshine whenever you can. And I was wearing the STAFFs socks. It helped me sleep.

I wonder what they have in store for tomorrow. I better rest to prepare...

No complaints...

The STAFF treated me with extreme cruelty when they would not take me out on the pretense that my broken nail needed to heal, and I did let them know I was not pleased. But after 72 hours of sheer hell, and another 48 hours with just two boring walks I was back in the Best Wood. Phew.

Now I am quite pleased, happy and tired. Some nasty people have suggested that, as I had no complaints, I have been neglecting my blog. This is just nasty talk. Really. There is a really good alternative explanation, which I am formulating as we speak.

You can see me formulating here, whilst cunningly looking as though I am schnoozing in the sunshine on my private sofa.


Did I mention that I have a new title? I have been watching the West Wing with the STAFF, and I now make them call me Chief of STAFF. A very appropriate title, don't you think? And it reflects the hierarchy in our residence so very accurately.

Must be off, there is sleep to catch up on.

Yours,

Chief of STAFF

Ouch...ouch...ouch!

Ouchy! Can you see my nail all torn and the quick exposed and ..... [Sorry, I fainted just then]. It is all rather sore. What happened, I hear you cry? Well, I was on an early morning hunt in the woods in the dark and I must have caught my foot on something and torn the top of my nail off. Of course the STAFF were nowhere to be seen. And why do they force us out before sunrise anyway. I put on a brave face: Know No Pain - that's my motto.

I only licked it very surreptitiously when I was resting in my batchelor pad after the morning's exertion, but the &%$# STAFF with their hypersensitive perception noticed it anyway and dragged me to the Vet's, as I knew they would. Traitors!

And the vet said I had to rest and not exercise until the nail had hardened, because if I split it further I'd need an operation to have the nail removed and my paw would be bandaged for weeks.
Well, it's a risk I would take, and I explained that to the STAFF. But no! Do they take me out? Do they take me out? Do they heck! I have to drag them around the streets in the morning, which is not very comfortable at all.
And I am soooo bored. Please send sympathy.

One interesting obervation: as soon as I lick my poorly paw, the STAFF proffer food, play games, cuddle me or give me some kind of attention. Hmmm, maybe I'll be able to while away the boredom over the next few days after all...

Across the Windy Moors on Christmas Day - or A Reality Check

Hmm, I am not sure whether I spoke too soon when I praised Christmas. Perhaps my enthusiasm was too much based on cozy and romantic images I saw in the media and not enough adjusted for those masters of crazy and stupid, aka the STAFF. I thought we'd wake up late, go downstairs, find presents, pork pies and sherry. Unwrap stuff, eat. Eat some more. And basically continue eating until luncheon time, when we'd eat until it was time for dinner.

I should have known the STAFF would have other ideas. The alarm goes off before sunrise (who, I asks you, sets an alarm on Christmas day?), and then they start packing our hiking gear. Uh oh, I thought. What about a lie-in? Pork pies? Presents?

See what I got instead! A day out on Stanton moor in the Peak District! That's not what I anticipated - and there were certainly no pork pies.

And then the STAFF made me pose in the Nine Ladies Stone circle. Oooh, Nine Ladies and One Weimy, they crooned. The feeble fools. They are not funny! Gosh, this is sooo embarrassing.

As always, they managed to entice me along the route by hypnotising me with biscuits. As you can see I am totally spellbound. I am sure it is not legal. I will find out about that.

I feel a little better now that we are home and I have been issued with luncheon. Very nice stuff from a tin. Now, if I get some dinner in addition to that, it could be a great Christmas day after all!

Let's keep our paws crossed and hope for the best as we relax in front of the radiator.

Merry Christmas everyone

Bah Humbug!? No way! What's not to like about Christmas?

A time full of yuletide joy, the potential for snacks, mulled wine, carols and (edible!) tree decorations. Lots of time spent with the STAFF, frolicking about in the hills and in woods. And Christmas dinner! Not just the dried biscuits I normally get, but tinned food of lamb and tapioca. Yum!

Pity it is only once a year!

I am feeling quite magnanimous. I might even get the STAFF a small present, if I find something suitable on the walk tomorrow.

I hope you all have a very Happy Holiday!

Hip Hip Hooray

Happy birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday, dear Gerlinde!
Happy Birthday to you!
Hip hip - hooray!

Gerlinde, sorry I cannot join you for a nice Hirnderl, Luengerl, Wuersterl feast, but I will be having a glass of champagne to toast you on your special day! Well, if the STAFF leave me any (you know what they are like about giving me good stuff...). I hope you have a super day and a super year!

Please send my regards to your lovely cats also. I am sure that you look after them very well. Not a luxury all of us have!

Bye and Cheers! With lots of love,

Otto

Pssst....The STAFF have gone crazy.

So, remember how I said that I kinda like going to Bestwood. I should have been more cautious about who I said it to... The STAFF, not known for their sense (common or otherwise) never ever do anything in moderation. So, they have taken me on a forced march around Bestwood everyday last week. I mean, Come On! It's miles! And it is so exciting that I cannot just walk calmly next to them. I have to charge. I wonder whether they are doing it to escape the OAPs bacon gifts on our ususal round? Hmmm, that would be cruel. On the upside, I get more food. On the downside, I burn it all off. Anyway, I am completely knackered!
Thankfully this weekend the weather's been awful again. On the plus side it meant a shorter trip on Saturday and no hanging around whilst they prance about with the camera. On the downside, this was because it was raining so much it was like having a shower (they did remember my new and rather fetching coat, so I was mainly dry; I'll show you a picture sometime soon).
I have attached a picture of me jumping for joy when I realised that today we were just going on a reasonable stroll by the river. Phew, with that and a bit of sleep I can face the hardships of next week. I still hope that it is just a phase the STAFF are going through and that we will return to a more sedate, bacon eating life style. But seeing the determined glint in their eyes makes me worry a lot...

PS: As I was saying I am sooooo tired I can't even stay awake long enough to tell you... tell you... something...zzz....zzz....zzz