keeping cool, but not too cool, in the heatwave

Whoaaa. Heatwave. Too hot to type. Too hot to think. Can only lie in front of the fan.

But at least it means that my washing is drying fast!

Heatwave or no. When there is sun, you have to go outside and soak up the rays. It's a cultural thing!

And to cool yourself down - Astromarmite popsicles!

A whole tray full of frozen goodness. Yum!

It's best to have them in the shade. And they cool you down enough to return straight back into the sun. Excellent!

Mmmhhh, mmmmhhh, mmmmhh. Ice-cream!

And crunch, crunch, crunch it's gone! Sometimes the STAFF do have good ideas!

Summer sun - and the livin' is easy...

Ahhh, summer's here. Time to go extreme sunbathing. Find a sunny spot. Stand in it. Look pitiful. Wait for the STAFF to come waddling out with your bed. Start extreme sunbathing. You don't know how? Well, let me tell you what to do. It takes a bit of practise, but I am sure you could learn.

To begin with: Lie in the sun. 

Start pre-heating very gently. Stay upright, in case you haven't the best spot and movement should be necessary. Economy of movement is of the utmost importance. Should an archenemy (e.g. postal worker) appear at the front door, then the rules of Extreme Sunbathing permit you to bark from the comfort of your sunny spot. Don't move, whatever happens!

If the spot is good and you are at a good angle to the sun, lie flat and expose as much surface area as you can. That way you'll get nice and toasty in no time at all. 

Perfect the art of panting whilst lying on your face. That way you can stay in the sun until you are just about to pass out from the heat. Now move into the shade. Stay there until you have cooled down by  a couple of degrees (this should not take more than 4 1/2 minutes). 

Repeat process all day. Or until the sun goes in. If that happens before dinner time, look at the STAFF in an accusing fashion. It probably IS their fault. Somehow. 

When Extreme Sunbathing is done right, it provides hours of exciting bliss. Sure, it is tiring, but the rewards are immense. Go on. Spoil yourself. Try it! 

PS: In the event of the Sun going in or the Wind picking up, switch to Plan B. 

If you feel even the slightest discomfort outside, say from a breezy breeze, retreat indoors immediately. Do not hesitate, or you may get cold!

Indoor Extreme Sunbathing can be conducted by the same principles as the outdoor version. 

You do however have to keep an eye on the STAFF, lest THEY get it in THEIR silly heads to close the blinds, which reduces the heat. Why are THEY so cruel?

But if the STAFF are nowhere near the blinds and you have a comfy spot, just go to sleep. 

Not a bad second choice, at all!

Sleepy Sunseeker

Went around the Best Wood this morning. Nice crisp air. Foxes and squirrels to hunt. Sticks to chase. Life was just good. And then, when we were on the way back, I said to the STAFF "Hey, let's go around again!". Now, I always say this. Every time. It's just a joke, right! And nothing ever happens. We just go home. Have breakfast. Go to work or sleep, depending on your rank. Everyone is happy. So, when I said "Hey, let's go around again", that's what I expected to happen. BUT... one of the STAFF said to the other "Hey, let's do it. Let's just go around again". Ignoring the expression on the other member of STAFF's face, and the expression on my face (which is infinitely worse to ignore, because I am Chief of STAFF) off they went. "What?", I said. I mean: "I say, WHAT?!?". But there was nothing for it. I had to go around again.
Do they have NO sense of humour, I ask you? Can a guy not make an innocent joke without being exercised to the point of exhaustion?

Anyway, when we finally got home, I insisted that the furniture be moved. After all, you have to get into the sunshine whenever you can. And I was wearing the STAFFs socks. It helped me sleep.

I wonder what they have in store for tomorrow. I better rest to prepare...