brass monkeys watch out!

Brass monkeys should not go out in this weather! They might lose stuff. Something similar happened to me. At the vets. Anyway, I digress....

When the thermometer shows anything that is like -1º or worse, I am putting my jacket on. What? You think I care about looking like a wuss? I don't want to look hard, because I am frozen solid.

Autumn: Time to reconnect with my Fox buddies

I can't believe I've not been writing anything at all for nearly a whole month. Well, all I can say is that September and October are my busiest months. There's the last rays of sunshine to fill up the Sun cells, the dates with Lola the greyhound, the fox hunting, sending STAFF back to school.... It's a totally packed schedule!
STAFF bought the house we live in before I arrived with THEM. And as THEY didn't benefit from my expert advice at the time of purchase, THEY did not calculate that the sun would not shine unto the sofa during all seasons. Shockingly, in winter, we don't seem to get any sun on them at all! I find that a most lamentable state of affairs. And have intimated my discontent on this issue to STAFF. To no avail. I mean, something so basic, you'd have thought THEY could work that out on THEIR own. But, alas, you cannot take anything for granted with THEM.

Now I am wise to the situation, when autumn comes, I charge my sun cells up, to make sure the warm, content feeling imprints itself on the memory cells in my fur and tides me over through the cold winters. It can be quite stressful following the sun around all day. But what's a man to do?

Once I have charged up with all the heat and warmth, I am naturally loathe to let go of even a single little heat molecule. And in my quest for heat preservation, I have learned several interesting facts:

1. Even looking a little bit cold will have STAFF come running with a blanket.
2. When you pull the blanket over your head, you are in an oasis of peace, quiet and nice smells (leave the nose out though!)
3. when you make little grumbling sounds, STAFF look very happy and report immense job satisfaction.
4. Point 3, increases the chances of 1. happening again. A very Happy Cycle!

In any case, as I was snoozing I was contemplating a couple of very important things. First and foremost a most exciting development on the Front D'amour! Oh yes! Lola, the sexy greyhound I have been carrying a torch for since the day I first sniffed her, is coming over to my house! A date! I am so excited, I can't even sleep at night! And, if I am honest, I worry a little. I have never had a date. What if we run out of stuff to say? What if she notices that the accident at the vets makes me flinch every time someone says 'balls'? What, and this is most likely to happen, STAFF embarrass me? As I was lying, worry creeping through me like a snail through a lettuce patch, slowly but surely gnawing away, I noticed a hitherto unconsidered source of worry and concern. My feet. Or, to be more precise, the lusciously hirsute state of the space between my paws! Is this normal for a guy? What if Lola doesn't like it? Should I shave or wax or trim or leave it as it is? I just do not know. And it is pointless asking STAFF.... I have caught THEM looking at the furry tufts with the unmistakeable intention to fluff them. A raised eye-brow was enough non-verbal communication to put a stop to that plan. Honestly! Get a grip! So, I shall have to remain unsure. And just not know...

Well, I can't worry about that now. I'll have to wait until she comes over and hope for the best.

It is that wonderful time of year when the days get shorter and the morning outings are all in the dark. STAFF and I always really look forward to that. Well, I assume STAFF do. It is hard to tell with THEM... THEY aren't always as bright-eyed and bushy tailed in the morning as you'd expect. So, it is very important for me to get THEM out of bed and focus THEM on leaving the house. And early! And quickly! Otherwise all the good wildlife might have been snapped up by someone else!

It is always very tense when I am waiting to see when we're going or, goodness gracious, if we're going! All this is a source of immense stress to me until we are actually in the woods. And I am out of the car. Because we did once drive into a deer park, and straight back out again. STAFF muttered that it was closing and we couldn't stay, or something. I am not sure. Couldn't hear THEM very well over the barking!

In any case. Once we are in the woods, STAFF trudge around with THEIR head torches, trying not to fall over stuff. And I, well I get to do my own thing. THEY can't see me! Frreeeddddddoooommmmmm! Of course I check in every now and then. It makes THEM feel better. And me.

Mainly because I get a snack! I have trained THEM well, if I say so myself.... In any case, I used to think it was a bit of a nuisance to have THEM trudge round like great, big lumbering, stumbling Cyclopses. Scaring away all hunteables. But, I now realise that THEY create a marvelous diversion, and when the wildlife flees before the lumbering One-Beamed-Vision, the Grey Ghost Hunter can pounce!

My favourite hunting buddy is a Fox. Cute little thing. We meet most mornings. Have a good run and hunt and then wave good-bye until the next morrow. Here you can see me in Red-Eye hunting mode. Scary, huh?

And I am particularly pleased with this action shot of me hunting the fox. Do you see it? No? Look more closely! Oh, ok, it might not have come out so well, but I was within a whisker of getting him. Oooh, it was exciting!

After that nice hunt I was filled with an immense sense of pride. And satisfaction. I was born to hunt. I love every second of it! And the thrill is in the chase. Catching the fox would totally ruin my fun the next day. Who would I chase then? I am taking a long-term perspective on this. Hunt, let live, hunt again. That's my, not very snappy, motto.

And just look at us here. No wonder we are scaring the wildlife! Makes me chuckle!

And then at home, I get a toweling massage. And to sweeten an already sweet deal, STAFF issue me with a little pile of snacks first.

But I have to wait before I can tuck in. Seconds turn into minutes. Minutes. Into hours. Hours into days. Days into weeks. Weeks into months. Months into years.

And still I am waiting.

And then more waiting before I am allowed to do my morning's biscuit treasure hunt. Really, I feel for those chaps waiting for Godot. I am sure I do more waiting than that!

I wonder whether they ever tried the cute Puppy Pester Look. That normally works for me!

And of course I have been experimenting more with blanket positions and coverage. On a cold afternoon, is there anything better than being snuggly on the sofa?

When the heat builds up I gently unfurl. Making sure I do not lose too much heat!

All in all, autumn is such a busy time. Tomorrow I'll try and get a picture of my friend the fox. If only I could convince him to stand still for long enough! But no matter how much I call after him, he doesn't seem to want to stop. Strange. In any case. I'll try again tomorrow.

Good night.

Tis the season for....?

So, as you can see I'm battening down the hatches in my ever present struggle to stay warm.

Now, you and I - we are smart. Does this look to you like I am planning to spend some nights outside? Protected only by a thin layer of canvas from the elements? Why oh why, when common sense was given out, did STAFF say "no, thanks, not for me!"? And, why oh why, do THEY not listen to me and my subtle hints?

I had better enjoy the warmth whilst I can!

____________________________________

Addendum:

Actually, I've had a change of heart! Amazing what a bit of sunshine can do!

Danger gleams like sunshine to a brave Weimy's eyes! Bring it on!

Brrrr.... it's cold outside!

It is cold outside, but I do love these cold evenings. The STAFF and I snuggle up on the sofa. Well, one of the STAFF gets to snuggle, the OTHER has to sit on the small sofa, in the window, where it's draughty. All on their own. Life can be tough, I suppose.  

Me, I am verrry cozy. And a little sleepy. Tomorrow, I'll be ready for adventure!

I'm going to sack the STAFF! Applications are welcome!

So, it is a really, really cold and wet rainy November day. Cold. Damp. Really wet. What would any sensible person do? I can tell you: double breakfast, nice fire, extra blankets, and - most important that one - stay indoors! What do the STAFF do? What with them not being sensible at all! They drag us out on a long walk through Thieves Wood. Normally I quite like going there. Also, there's a tuck shop and you can buy a suasage for 30 pence. Not that they have sprung for one lately - stingy! But that's another matter.

So, they left my coat in the car. Went on a long walk. And I got absolutely frozen. So, now I am spending my time choking to indicate that they did give me double pneumonia bronchitis. And no amount of blankets is going to stop me from complaining.

Applications for replacing the STAFF from trained and sensible personnel are very welcome!

PS: I suppose the STAFF are trying. Still, I can't get warm. Maybe they will fetch me more blankets? And let's see what other stuff I can get them to do whilst they are on their guilt trip.